I'm the opposite. It bugs me when trans people expect me to treat them like the gender they 'identify' as, but I have not much provblem if someone just wants to switch. You can do whatever you want with your body its only an issue when you make me treat you like a woman and call you one when you have a cock and balls.
I doubt then that you will ever have to interact with one of us. We know some have problems and are therefore careful about who we associate with. We know when people have a problem with us and will do what we can to avoid interaction.
In my experience it is typically young black men who insist on calling me "he".
It is not like dealing with teachers, drill sargents, cops, or other people in person who try to demand respect. Those of us wo have lived this for years know it does no good to try to correct someone when they are being blatantly disrespectful. We can tell who is trying to give us a hard time VS someone who really doesn't know how to refer to one of us.
Alright, I don't know you RL but from reading your posts, you seem like a decent guy. I find it a bit hard to believe that you would be THAT inconvenienced to just use whatever pronouns someone prefers.
Us transgenders are not asking for anything more than a little common courtesy. Calling us "she" (for male-to-females at least) isn't a sign you want to sleep with us or even associate more than necessary.
It is kind of a sticking point with people and I understand that. I wish I could just be fine calling someone whatever but I just goes to against what I know. I haven't met any trans people in real life and maybe I could get used to it if I knew them for a while but there is no way to say for sure. I still don't really understand why its so important to be called what you identify as but just from the outside looking in I see that as something I will never understand. I appreciate you being reasonable either way tho.
So more of the fact that knowing about it gets in the way more than it is about hate?
Wanting to be called by female pronouns, for male-to-female, it is just kind of a validation. Being called "He" just feels icky.
Well, let me explain it in a language that you and I can relate -
You are a weight trainer and I once was. You and I have both had this chat with others in our lives -
Them - Hey you lift?
Us - Yeah (feeling proud and quietly flexing)
Them - How much you bench?
Us - (whatever max or 10 rep weight or whatever)
Them - That is pretty good but, I know this one guy who does twice that just warming up...
And they go on to say how this guy they know is also a 7th degree black belt in Fu man choo kung fu or Too wong fu or whatever.
Then there is that feeling of "Oh well thanks a lot, shit head." Like they just HAVE to discredit you.
Well, that is kind of how us TG feel about being misgendered. Of course, for the "one up" analogy, I have actually had people ask questions about my transgenderness and at some point say, "I knew this one TG but with her, you could never tell she used to be a man".
Like, OHHHH... well thank you, you condescending asshole".
Thats an interesting example haha. It still doesn't totally make sense but I'm trying. When conversations like that happen you do kinda get that "why did you have to bring that up" feeling but my ego is not damaged by shit like that like it used to be.
I'm fine with already-trans people, but not people I know "coming out"?
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I'm the opposite. It bugs me when trans people expect me to treat them like the gender they 'identify' as, but I have not much provblem if someone just wants to switch. You can do whatever you want with your body its only an issue when you make me treat you like a woman and call you one when you have a cock and balls.
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leggs91200
4 years ago
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palepunk
4 years ago
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I doubt then that you will ever have to interact with one of us. We know some have problems and are therefore careful about who we associate with. We know when people have a problem with us and will do what we can to avoid interaction.
In my experience it is typically young black men who insist on calling me "he".
It is not like dealing with teachers, drill sargents, cops, or other people in person who try to demand respect. Those of us wo have lived this for years know it does no good to try to correct someone when they are being blatantly disrespectful. We can tell who is trying to give us a hard time VS someone who really doesn't know how to refer to one of us.
Alright, I don't know you RL but from reading your posts, you seem like a decent guy. I find it a bit hard to believe that you would be THAT inconvenienced to just use whatever pronouns someone prefers.
Us transgenders are not asking for anything more than a little common courtesy. Calling us "she" (for male-to-females at least) isn't a sign you want to sleep with us or even associate more than necessary.
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Doesnormalmatter
4 years ago
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It is kind of a sticking point with people and I understand that. I wish I could just be fine calling someone whatever but I just goes to against what I know. I haven't met any trans people in real life and maybe I could get used to it if I knew them for a while but there is no way to say for sure. I still don't really understand why its so important to be called what you identify as but just from the outside looking in I see that as something I will never understand. I appreciate you being reasonable either way tho.
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leggs91200
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So more of the fact that knowing about it gets in the way more than it is about hate?
Wanting to be called by female pronouns, for male-to-female, it is just kind of a validation. Being called "He" just feels icky.
Well, let me explain it in a language that you and I can relate -
You are a weight trainer and I once was. You and I have both had this chat with others in our lives -
Them - Hey you lift?
Us - Yeah (feeling proud and quietly flexing)
Them - How much you bench?
Us - (whatever max or 10 rep weight or whatever)
Them - That is pretty good but, I know this one guy who does twice that just warming up...
And they go on to say how this guy they know is also a 7th degree black belt in Fu man choo kung fu or Too wong fu or whatever.
Then there is that feeling of "Oh well thanks a lot, shit head." Like they just HAVE to discredit you.
Well, that is kind of how us TG feel about being misgendered. Of course, for the "one up" analogy, I have actually had people ask questions about my transgenderness and at some point say, "I knew this one TG but with her, you could never tell she used to be a man".
Like, OHHHH... well thank you, you condescending asshole".
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Doesnormalmatter
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Thats an interesting example haha. It still doesn't totally make sense but I'm trying. When conversations like that happen you do kinda get that "why did you have to bring that up" feeling but my ego is not damaged by shit like that like it used to be.
I have an issue calling cis people like you by the ‘gender you identify as’.
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Doesnormalmatter
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Explain??? Youa aren't actually that gender. So identify is exactly that, it doesn't change what you are. I don't understand where your problem is.