Look dude, you probably have something up in your head. Maybe it's Cotard Delusion, maybe it's brain damage.
But, it doesn't make you "crazy".
See, crazy is loaded word. It's derogatory, but it refers to a state of illness. And we can see what this stigma does - you react to people saying "go to a psychiatrist" with "it's for crazy people, I'm not crazy".
There is no shame in being ill. I can only imagine how terrifying it would be to see your body rotting away. It's not any better just because "it's in your head". It's worse, because, as you said, people are leaving you over it. Another example of how much damage the "crazy" label can do.
If you were rotting in real life to the degree you describe, you would be long dead and/or people would notice. Think about it. Focus on this thought when you look at your body. It might be scary, it might invoke cognitive dissonance, but please, attempt to fight it.
Take good care of yourself. Please, eat regularly, wash yourself, get enough sleep.
And go to the psychiatrist.
I know it's scary beyond what most people who throw words like "crazy" and "psycho" can understand.
I'm dead + rotting
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Look dude, you probably have something up in your head. Maybe it's Cotard Delusion, maybe it's brain damage.
But, it doesn't make you "crazy".
See, crazy is loaded word. It's derogatory, but it refers to a state of illness. And we can see what this stigma does - you react to people saying "go to a psychiatrist" with "it's for crazy people, I'm not crazy".
There is no shame in being ill. I can only imagine how terrifying it would be to see your body rotting away. It's not any better just because "it's in your head". It's worse, because, as you said, people are leaving you over it. Another example of how much damage the "crazy" label can do.
If you were rotting in real life to the degree you describe, you would be long dead and/or people would notice. Think about it. Focus on this thought when you look at your body. It might be scary, it might invoke cognitive dissonance, but please, attempt to fight it.
Take good care of yourself. Please, eat regularly, wash yourself, get enough sleep.
And go to the psychiatrist.
I know it's scary beyond what most people who throw words like "crazy" and "psycho" can understand.
Get help. Please. For your own sake.