I'm already dreaming of next life
My current existence is really unfulfilling and has no meaning. It's all troubles, hardships, pain and suffering. Still in my 20s, I'm not looking forward to anything. That's not a life and it's not worth living. What's been driving me forward so far was the hope that things get better. Yet the opposite, no matter what I do or how hard I try my health has kept deteriorating each year, with multiple issues and pains reducing the quality of life to shit. Seen dozens of different medical specialists, none helped for anything. All the checks came clean and suspected conditions ruled out. Yet the suffering remains. I've already seen, judging by my humble life experience, that the direction is only towards worse so I don't hope anymore. I've given up.
I'm not considering suicide though since I know it's the biggest sin and it's also the way of the cowards. Also, I'm an only child and will be missed