This happens to everybody. I guess this heavily depends on who you are with. I am sure you don't have this problem with your family. With my family, I can talk about anything or, on opposite,just be quiet and still feel connected, not to mention absolutely comfortable. When I am alone with the person with whom I don't have much in common,it takes enormous effort to keep conversation in order to avoid awkward silence. (Weather is a classical topic for such a situation) But often I would find an excuse to leave the person when I feel too reluctant to make up a conversation. I.:)But all this is so wrong! Why do we have to say something if we have nothing to say? If we know how to speak, it does not mean we always have to!
I think, you are not the person who can easily generate a bunch of nonsense at a request - and most of time, our conversations are nonsense! I bet when you do talk, there is substance in your words!
So,I think,there is nothing wrong with you, but rather there is something wrong with the culture which pressures us to say something to someone even if you have nothing to say. This is so unnatural,and no wonder some people have a problem with it.
But you know, some people have an opposite problem: they cannot stop talking,and often they slip out things which would put them in troubles or embarrass later. There is an old Russian proverb: word is silver, but silence is gold!
I think you should make this trait work for you. You know, people of few words are more intriguing as there is always something you don't know about them. Also, they are taken more seriously than talkers, as they seem to have more substance behind their scares words.
Rather than learn to say rubbish, you should learn to relax while keeping silence. If it does make you feel awkward you can pretend you are thinking about something important and make a profound face, and people will thin that your thoughts are more important to you than conversing with them.:) You know, silence can be much more expressive words. And sometimes just a smile is a better exchange than a dozen words. :)
What I meant to say is that sometimes silence connects people better than words, while words, instead of connecting people, just distance them further apart. Hope it's not just a bare philosophy.
i'm afraid of people and try to avoid them
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This happens to everybody. I guess this heavily depends on who you are with. I am sure you don't have this problem with your family. With my family, I can talk about anything or, on opposite,just be quiet and still feel connected, not to mention absolutely comfortable. When I am alone with the person with whom I don't have much in common,it takes enormous effort to keep conversation in order to avoid awkward silence. (Weather is a classical topic for such a situation) But often I would find an excuse to leave the person when I feel too reluctant to make up a conversation. I.:)But all this is so wrong! Why do we have to say something if we have nothing to say? If we know how to speak, it does not mean we always have to!
I think, you are not the person who can easily generate a bunch of nonsense at a request - and most of time, our conversations are nonsense! I bet when you do talk, there is substance in your words!
So,I think,there is nothing wrong with you, but rather there is something wrong with the culture which pressures us to say something to someone even if you have nothing to say. This is so unnatural,and no wonder some people have a problem with it.
But you know, some people have an opposite problem: they cannot stop talking,and often they slip out things which would put them in troubles or embarrass later. There is an old Russian proverb: word is silver, but silence is gold!
I think you should make this trait work for you. You know, people of few words are more intriguing as there is always something you don't know about them. Also, they are taken more seriously than talkers, as they seem to have more substance behind their scares words.
Rather than learn to say rubbish, you should learn to relax while keeping silence. If it does make you feel awkward you can pretend you are thinking about something important and make a profound face, and people will thin that your thoughts are more important to you than conversing with them.:) You know, silence can be much more expressive words. And sometimes just a smile is a better exchange than a dozen words. :)
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ll123
12 years ago
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What I meant to say is that sometimes silence connects people better than words, while words, instead of connecting people, just distance them further apart. Hope it's not just a bare philosophy.