I'm a man and i find sexual promiscuity disgusting

79% Normal

Personally, even though I am a young man, I find the idea of finding and screwing as many girls as possible revolting. For me, I would rather only have sex in a relationship in which there is some degree of commitment (i.e. serious relationship) and not just one night stands.

When I encounter sex stuff that are pretty much "You're hot, I'm horny, let's fuck", I do not get turned on very much. But if in the story the sex partners are a couple I get incredibly turned on (that is unless it involves incest or children). For the former, I have encountered explicit images and stories which were done for lusty reasons and I found a whole lot of them were just plain unerotic. However, for the latter when I ran into a romance sex fiction, I had a lot of difficulty trying to restrain myself from masturbating on the spot. I don't actively search such stories or pictures up to turn myself on, so you can see how much of a difference it intrinsically has on me.

Now before you accuse me of judging others, I am not. If you're the promiscuous type, I'm not hating on you or demanding that you cease being promiscuous. In addition, this is not something that is coming from religious beliefs. I do not think that sex and marriage is oh-so sacred like Catholics do. I am simply saying that I *personally* find the concept of one night stands and promiscuity disgusting and that I *myself* would rather have it reserved for more serious relationships.

Is it normal to have this view?

Voting Results

79% Normal

Based on 233 votes (185 yes)

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Comments ( 35 )

Fall_leaves

9 years ago

It's normal to not be into one night stands. I feel the same way, I don't like the idea of sleeping with every guy that walks into my life. Sex is easy to figure out if you're with the right partner, and if you're close and committed to your partner then that openness will help in your favor.

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- Imnotembarrased
  
  9 years ago
  
  but women have less challenge contolling horniness
  
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  - Fall_leaves
    
    9 years ago
    
    you make it out to sound like men have no control of their dick
    
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  - disthing
    
    9 years ago
    
    Well that's a crock of shit.
    
    (I love that expression)
    
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daydreamer394

9 years ago

I'm so glad I'm not the only one, even though I'm female.
People all around me seem to be the opposite. It's saddening.

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- polopo
  
  9 years ago
  
  Im also like this and im a boy. Its really good to know that there are people like us
  
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- disthing
  
  9 years ago
  
  Why is it saddening?
  
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  - daydreamer394
    
    9 years ago
    
    I don't understand it. It's yet another way in which I feel isolated, I suppose.
    
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wistfulmaiden

9 years ago

I think it sounds pretty normal, not everyone likes to f*** like alley cats. I think more women feel this way but Im glad some men do too.

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LizardSkin

9 years ago

Agree completely op.

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Bonefrost

8 years ago

I'm not into 1nighters either.I used to make-out w/ chicks in high-school,but we never had intercourse.
I know I missed out on alot,but have only had 2 serious girlfriends and that was many yrs ago.I feel a need for some commitment,even if its we just date exclusively until we see if we want to become a couple.Not into chicks that see/date 3 dudes at the sametime.
I have a buddy thats a total whore and I always give him shit,he finally quit nailing 5 different chicks a week and got married.

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gbebe84

9 years ago

Good for you! ;) I am looking for a guy with this exact mindset! It seems hard to find sadly enough although of course, there are many guys out there who share your point of view! I think what you find appealing (sex within the confines of a committed relationship) makes absolute sense! Why would a guy or girl want to just be with someone they like for just one night or two when they can be with that person in a relationship all the time (meaning they can see and perhaps even have sex with them often and not just once or twice)? I am looking for a committed relationship but unfortunately am right now mostly finding guys who just want to "hook-up". It's sad cause I would so want to be in a relationship with this one guy who keeps hinting that he wants to do it with me

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Nokiot9

9 years ago

One night stands with strangers, in theory turns me off. But there's something to be said for that rush you get from the thrill of the hunt and kill. The kind of gratification you get when you eye someone and say everything just right. The tension. The magnetism. The chemistry of an unfamiliar. Its quite riveting.

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- daydreamer394
  
  9 years ago
  
  What you have just described with such passion is a theory, is it not?
  
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Avant-Garde

9 years ago

As do I. I miss the times when people had more respect for themselves. A time when relationships were taken slow and love actually meant something. *sigh*

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- disthing
  
  9 years ago
  
  Those times are still these times.
  
  The difference is there is greater social acceptance of people whose lives don't conform to some conservative, traditional attitude towards sex and relationships.
  
  People who want only a slow-burning romance within the confines of a monogamous relationship can have that.
  
  Those that want to enjoy themselves as free, non-committed individuals, by being intimate with other free, non-comitted individuals, can also have that.
  
  Best of both worlds in my opinion (at least in culturally 'Western' countries)
  
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Spankz

9 years ago

I would say this is pretty normal. I'm a big believer in everyone embracing their sexuality and doing what makes them the most comfortable, however I am demisexual meaning that one night stands are virtually impossible for me. In no way do I think casual sex is disgusting for others, but for me it just isn't appealing. I need a deep, emotional connection with the person to even think about sex. That being said, once I am actually connected to the person the sexual thoughts rarely stop.

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animalcrossincrazi

9 years ago

You're not the only one! All of the fluids and sweating can make you feel gross! I enjoy it occasionally, but I'm not the best mixing and all that...

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Actually, the idea of the fluids actually turns me on.
  
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Anonnet

9 years ago

I want to go the relationship route myself, too. I don't think people who just want to have loads of sex are disgusting or revolting, though. Just a different lifestyle.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Never said that people who do are disgusting or revolting. Just my preference.
  
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disthing

9 years ago

It's one thing to be uninterested in promiscuity, it's another to find it "disgusting". Disgusting!

That seems like a strange and irrational reaction, to me - so I'd probably say 'not normal'.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  When I say "disgusting", I mean as in it is in direct contrast to my preferences and ideals. For example, some people find the concept oral sex disgusting, though I find the concept of it arousing. If people find oral sex disgusting, that's their preference. If someone wants to be promiscuous, it's their decision and I'm not going to think of them as a slut or less valuable for it. I don't see how it's any more strange and irrational than for someone to find cheese disgusting, even though I enjoy it. Everyone has their preferences.
  
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  - disthing
    
    9 years ago
    
    But disgust is revulsion. Like if you inadvertently drank sour milk, or trod on dog shit barefooted, or bore witness to a beheading.
    
    I entirely understand why it might not be your thing. But, to me, disgust seems too extreme a reaction to be normal.
    
    You find the idea of having casual sex with multiple partners disgusting. That's not 'I prefer not to', that's 'I almost vomit at the thought'.
    
    "I don't see how it's any more strange and irrational than for someone to find cheese disgusting"
    
    Finding cheese disgusting because it tastes bad to you is very different, and not a good analogy.
    
    Finding THE IDEA of cheese disgusting, despite having never tried it and having no interest in ever trying it, is a better analogy. And would seems strange to me also.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Let me make a better example. I, myself, find the idea of eating rotten shark in urine (as is done in Iceland) and blood pudding disgusting and I would never try it myself. But that doesn't mean that everyone must bow before my preference and feel bad if they don't. They are free to do whatever they want with their lives. Some people find the idea of eating fried insects disgusting, but I'd love to try it one day. A lot of girls feel disgust when they see creepy crawlies, but it piques my interest. Some people find furry porn and hentai disgusting, others find it hot.
      
      In any case, when I was using the word "disgusting", I was simply referring to the feeling of ickiness from the idea, like how kids react when they feel sticky slimy stuff. A lot stronger than "not my cuppa tea", but not as far as outright condemnation.
      
      Perhaps I have used the word too carelessly, much like how people use the term "sadistic" to refer to any infliction of pain, when it actually refers to deriving glee from the pain in others itself (and not just a byproduct).
      
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Bobblahblah

9 years ago

I felt that way when I was younger. Looking back now, I feel like I had the wrong idea then.

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k10101010101010101010

9 years ago

Live and let live and don't judge others!!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  "Now before you accuse me of judging others, I am not. If you're the promiscuous type, I'm not hating on you or demanding that you cease being promiscuous. [...] I am simply saying that I *personally* find the concept of one night stands and promiscuity disgusting and that I *myself* would rather have it reserved for more serious relationships.
  
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thegypsysailor

9 years ago

Can I ask you a question? How do you expect to become a proficient lover if you don't get some practice? It's not like the talent an artist, athlete or a musician is born with; sex is something we all must get experience at to be good.
Carrying this one step further, let's say you've met the girl of your dreams. Let's say she's almost a virgin; a few unsatisfying forays into sex. You really believe this one is the one. Just how pleased is she going to be that all you can offer her is another, slightly painful, unsatisfying, fumble in the sack? Oops, she's gone and you will wish you'd gotten a bit more experience.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I'm not saying commitment for life, only one and never anyone else again in your entire life. I'm saying a degree of commitment and not just casual, not beyond the point of no return. Committed relationships can still end.
  
  Also, can't people practise within a relationship?
  
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  - Riddler
    
    9 years ago
    
    Means you have self respect and expect others to as well.
    
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- (s)aint
  
  9 years ago
  
  If a guy told me that he's inexperienced in advance I'd not mind. Just another reason to have a lot of sex! A guy who is a virgin can still practise with holding back his release while masturbating.
  
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- TrustMeImLying
  
  9 years ago
  
  Why are your opinions always based around being a proficient lover? It really makes me wonder whether you had a traumatic experience where you 'fumbled in the sack', or if one of your partners left you because of sex, or your relationship suffered because of it. I'm sorry if that happened but I assure you it was probably an incredibly rare occurrence, with perhaps an underlying reason.
  
  Maybe for you skillful-sex is the foundation of a successful relationship. For some, being in love is. For others, something else. Believe me there are women in this world for whom orgasms or the man's skill in bed aren't the be–all and end–all. I think it is also largely a matter of how secure a man is in himself. I have no shame in admitting my first time with a girl I was such a klutz. When we were in the shower, I tripped. When I spontaneously carried her to her room I hit my own head. And one of those times I even poked the general a few inches above the gate thinking, "HUH? WHERE DID IT GO?"
  
  Often during those fumbles she laughed her ass off and so did I. A mere month or two later and the sex evolved and we both grew and learned rapidly. Sure I have only been with a couple of women since then but that first one was my best relationship ever, and might forever be. There is something invaluable about taking a journey together as opposed to two people meeting each other at the end of it. Ever been ice-skating? Wonder what must compel most of those couples, old and young, to skate together even though all they do is fumble, hobble and fall around.
  
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  - thegypsysailor
    
    9 years ago
    
    That's just silly. No huge traumatic sexual experience in my past, so sorry to disappoint. It's important to me to be a proficient lover because I love fucking and really enjoy pleasing my partners. I would like to all let young men know that gaining a sexual education, like any other education, will serve them well in life. There is nothing grand or virtuous about an adult fumbling around in the bedroom, nothing.
    
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    - TrustMeImLying
      
      9 years ago
      
      Now that's a much better and more agreeable POV than your first.
      
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Are You Normal?

I'm a man and i find sexual promiscuity disgusting