I'm a guy and I finger myself.

This reply to dinz:

You would think, but it doesn't matter what I eat (including an all inclusive fiber diet), nothing works. I simply can't digest anything and in turn it turns into unprocessed waste, which in turn gets stuck in my already non-retractable colon. This leads into a waiting game of which I have to wait till my colon can't hold no more. For at that point it is forced to retract and let the feces out. Yet on the down side this also causes the fissure in my colon and my A-hole I am so familiar with since I'm letting out a weeks worth of unprocessed food. And yes, I drink a lot of water. My colon is naturally un-retractable, nothing works. Sadly I'm due on a probable major surgery I should of gotten years upon years ago for my stomach, yet now it's too late. I guess you can say I was born with the worst digestive system someone can probably develop.