I have been depressed for a little while that I made the decision for my husband and I to wait until we are out of college and he at least has a stable career before having kids.
I know I am doing the right thing by waiting.
I know I am doing the right thing by getting college out of the way while I am still young.
I know I am doing the right thing by not bringing a child into this world out of wedlock.
I know I am doing the right thing by delaying gratification for the sake of my future children and their having a better life.
But that doesn't make it any easier to see women my age and older (I am 20) having children and families. It really doesn't.
Then I stop and think at what I would be looking at if I had a child right now. I look at my other 20 year old friends that have babies. Their lives are hell. They love their children but they wish they could go back and change it. They would love to be where I am at right now. They would love to have been able to have graduated high school, to have gotten a job and worked through college and deal with every struggle I deal with everyday rather than have had kids at such a young age. They would love to be looking at a potentially bright future as opposed to an uncertain one, to counting the days until the kid is old enough to go to public school so they can have at LEAST 8 hours to themselves instead of constantly being "super-mommy".
At our age, we hardly have an identity. We are still trying to figure out who we are, and to have what little identity you have at our age stripped away and replaced with "super-mommy" in 9 months (which is not long enough to adjust to ANYTHING that major, let alone the idea of motherhood) is devastating. Now you're trying to care for another human being, be super-mommy AND figure out who you are.
I know it's a horrible approach to the situation, but every time I get down on myself for the children I wish I had, I stop and remind myself of the hell that my friends live in. Not knowing whether or not the child's father will throw some money your way for child support, begging him like a dog to take his child for at least an hour, being fearful of both of your futures and seeing people like me complain about how much working through college sucks when in reality, many of them would trade places with me in a heartbeat.
I'm 17 and I seriously want to have a child.
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I have been depressed for a little while that I made the decision for my husband and I to wait until we are out of college and he at least has a stable career before having kids.
I know I am doing the right thing by waiting.
I know I am doing the right thing by getting college out of the way while I am still young.
I know I am doing the right thing by not bringing a child into this world out of wedlock.
I know I am doing the right thing by delaying gratification for the sake of my future children and their having a better life.
But that doesn't make it any easier to see women my age and older (I am 20) having children and families. It really doesn't.
Then I stop and think at what I would be looking at if I had a child right now. I look at my other 20 year old friends that have babies. Their lives are hell. They love their children but they wish they could go back and change it. They would love to be where I am at right now. They would love to have been able to have graduated high school, to have gotten a job and worked through college and deal with every struggle I deal with everyday rather than have had kids at such a young age. They would love to be looking at a potentially bright future as opposed to an uncertain one, to counting the days until the kid is old enough to go to public school so they can have at LEAST 8 hours to themselves instead of constantly being "super-mommy".
At our age, we hardly have an identity. We are still trying to figure out who we are, and to have what little identity you have at our age stripped away and replaced with "super-mommy" in 9 months (which is not long enough to adjust to ANYTHING that major, let alone the idea of motherhood) is devastating. Now you're trying to care for another human being, be super-mommy AND figure out who you are.
I know it's a horrible approach to the situation, but every time I get down on myself for the children I wish I had, I stop and remind myself of the hell that my friends live in. Not knowing whether or not the child's father will throw some money your way for child support, begging him like a dog to take his child for at least an hour, being fearful of both of your futures and seeing people like me complain about how much working through college sucks when in reality, many of them would trade places with me in a heartbeat.
Remember that.