I'm 17 and i seriously want to have a child.

I am 17 years old and about one year ago I had a pregnancy scare. I missed my period for two months so my friend bought me a test. I didn't tell anyone, but I secretly wanted it to be positive! I had it planned on how I would tell my mother and my friends. I had everything thought out. A few months later a girl in my class had become pregnant, and I was jealous. I wished it was me. Now she has her baby boy, and when I see him I am happy for her but I still wish I could have a child of my own. I seriously WANT to have a baby. I have never told anyone this. What should I do?

Completely normal. 16
Have a baby if you want it so bad 25
Abnormal, just stop. 12
You're too young 44
It's normal but you're still too young 91
That's weird! 6
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Comments ( 40 )
  • Who_Fan4Life

    OMG, STOP HAVING KIDS!

    I have a thing about girls who are younger than me having kids, for a good reason too. I swear, about 90% of the time, there's no father involved, and oh by the way, they're still in high school. And oh by the way, most of them work at shit jobs like McDonald's.

    THINK BEFORE YOU FUCK.

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    • coffeebreath

      "Think before you fuck." I like that. Seems obvious, but too many people don't do it.

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    • beastie

      How do they get knocked up if there's no father involved ;)

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      • Who_Fan4Life

        Invitro-fertilization!

        Hahaha.

        What I meant was, the father isn't there to nurture the child. He isn't there to help the mother financially and emotionally.

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        • beastie

          Sorry, I know what you meant.
          Just trying to be smart-alecky.
          You are right there though - babies deserve to be born into a decent safe situation.

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        • disthing

          Yes! This always bothers me too. It's so selfish of a woman to go and get pregnant without considering the capability of the father to contribute to the child's upbringing.

          There IS a biological clock ticking away, but at 17 you can afford to wait!

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    • Lynxikat

      "Think before you fuck".

      That's a freaking awesome line. :) I love how it's the best advice you can give to someone regarding sex, how obvious it is, but so many people don't do it.

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  • Ihadtomakeyetanotheraccountffs

    You may want a baby now, but you have to think ahead too. A baby at that age *could* ruin your life.

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  • kitchen.witch

    a child will ruin your ability to get higher education, which will lead to less job opportunities, and lead to finical problems for your family which would be unfair to your kid. you will not get the chance to travel, or ever have a normal dating life. you will always have baggage in the dating world. plus if you raise a kid without a father, or with a father who doesn't necessarily want a child, you will increase her/his risk of having daddy issues and getting into trouble- especially if you are always working to support the kid, and there is no other parental figure around to guide her/him.
    my advice is that you are young, you have not matured enough to fully know who you are or what you want.

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  • Ill see you in the next season of Teen Moms

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    • kit291

      lol

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  • assh0le

    Look up "elderly primagravida" and see what age that is. Younger than you think.

    Doesn't matter how attractive you look when you're old, it's the quality of your eggs that count. You are born with all the eggs you'll ever have. You don't know how many you've got start with and how many of those will "take" and be good enough to produce a healthy baby.

    Then you've got to find a man to father it. You have less choice in that the older you get. Older men can get hot young chicks always. Sad, but there it is.

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  • joybird

    I think you really need to go and stay with your school friend and sit in with her every night, unable to go out coz a baby is sleeping

    So many teens forget that this little baby grows up into an adult so you have all the stages to go through - the terrible two's, school homeworks, teenage hormones, etc and they are very expensive!!!

    Definitely get a doll or a dog or borrow a baby!!

    This notion should pass soon. Perhaps you could ask your school friend to phone you every time she is up during the night with her baby. One week of that should be enough to put you off - but it would be great company for her while she is walking the floors trying to get the baby over to sleep again.

    Please get sensible.

    I was 32yo before I had my son and I swear to you, I don't even know how I managed to keep from killing him - as my husband and I were so exhausted, my husband had to take 18 weeks unpaid leave off work to help me. It was a total nightmare!!

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  • Thanks guys. I have mixed feelings. I feel like my purpose in life is to be a mother. And I feel like it has to happen soon. It's really weird, I will be graduating high school next year, I turn 18 this summer... I feel almost like I'm running out of time to have a baby. It's the weirdest most bizarre reasoning... But I feel like I'm meant to be a teen mother... Don't get mean please, I know it sounds pretty f***ed up..

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    • lufa

      I'm going to share a personal story. This beautiful 18 yr old girl I know thought like you did. She dated a guy and had his kid and he was very abusive towards her-both physically and mentally, even in public.

      If you saw her you'd think she belongs in a fashion magazine. It was really the saddest thing. I tried to help and intervened but there wasn't much I could do. I was also a student and she was living with family.

      She deserved better-she was a really good person otherwise but having that child killed her social life and chances for higher education, plus she was being regularly abused by this maniac. Her family had the burden of taking care of her and her child.

      Just because something FEELS right, doesn't mean it is. Never substitute reasoning with feelings/emotion. People end up destroying their lives that way.

      You're young and naive-listen to people who are older, made mistakes and learned from them and the experiences of others.

      If you can't pay your way in the world you will always be a slave of someone who you depend on.

      18 is still very young-start worrying when you hit 30. In that time you could get a master's degree if you wanted-or establish a good career.

      Children can be wonderful but they are a great deal of work. Where is the money going to come from for the clothes, diapers, medicine, school, etc? Be sensible.

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    • beastie

      Some women already are past having kids by 22 cos of early menopause or crappy eggs.
      Get a fertility doc to check you over. That way at least you know what you're dealing with.
      Just because you see a few aged celebs who've had expensive IVF from the best doctors having kids, the reality is not so sweet for most ordinary women.

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  • RinTin

    If you can support a baby and you by yourself and not expect help from your parents or anyone else to look after him/her or to pay for your baby's needs.

    Get a dog first. Your very own that you have to take care of exclusively.

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  • What ever you do, don't get pregnant to a guy that doesn't want a kid yet just so you xan have your way.
    I think it can really ruin a girl's life to get pregnant young, although alot can get through it, but there is no need to fall pregnant by a guy that doesn't want to be a father. Don't ruin some random guy's life.

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  • teendicksuckers

    I lot of girls get pregnant that young

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  • Raven4ever

    I know how thhis is, sorta. I have a lil cousin who is like 2 yrs old, I feel this strong maternal attatchment for some reason. She has an irresponsible mom and dad.

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  • TonybigCock

    It is totally normal to have kids at 17yrs old. The human body tells you when it is ready to bare children and when the window of opportunity has passed (mid to late thirties is too late).

    I have always been of the opinion that women should get pregnant young, and get it out of the way, the body can spring back easier, and life is best enjoyed when you are matured in all respects (financially, emotionally, experienced, etc), that is usally when you are in your late thirties, if you have children young, your children will fly the nest when your in your late thirties, enabling you to have a great life during your late thirties and through to sixties, rather than getting pregnant late (in thirties) and then being bogged down with young children during that potentiall time for self actualizaton.

    Dont let anyone bully you out of your desire for children, it is perfectly natural and the best way.

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  • DOGSY

    Have kids now, stop letting people tell you how to run your life, nobody can stop you if its what you want

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  • prittyinpink

    I think its normal because i can relate to you. (i have never had a pregnancy scare though) I obsess about babies practically every day and google cute babies on the internet. I have a strong desire to be a mom one day even though im only a teenager and i know im not ready yet. I have the joy of being a older sis to very young twins and they are a handful! Im glad im not a teenage parent because it is hard even helping my mother a little bit with them. I love newborn babies and want to have my very own one day. I want a baby so badly but i plan to wait until im done school and find myself a mate. I love very young babies and i always did even as a young child. I love hugging, holding and bottle feeding cute babies. I miss those times when my younger sis was still a couple months old <3

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  • Abnormallynormal

    Pump the brakes there kiddo...you really dont kno what ur getting ur self into...live life a little first you cant even drink at the bar yet!!

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  • NeuroNeptunian

    I have been depressed for a little while that I made the decision for my husband and I to wait until we are out of college and he at least has a stable career before having kids.

    I know I am doing the right thing by waiting.

    I know I am doing the right thing by getting college out of the way while I am still young.
    I know I am doing the right thing by not bringing a child into this world out of wedlock.
    I know I am doing the right thing by delaying gratification for the sake of my future children and their having a better life.

    But that doesn't make it any easier to see women my age and older (I am 20) having children and families. It really doesn't.

    Then I stop and think at what I would be looking at if I had a child right now. I look at my other 20 year old friends that have babies. Their lives are hell. They love their children but they wish they could go back and change it. They would love to be where I am at right now. They would love to have been able to have graduated high school, to have gotten a job and worked through college and deal with every struggle I deal with everyday rather than have had kids at such a young age. They would love to be looking at a potentially bright future as opposed to an uncertain one, to counting the days until the kid is old enough to go to public school so they can have at LEAST 8 hours to themselves instead of constantly being "super-mommy".

    At our age, we hardly have an identity. We are still trying to figure out who we are, and to have what little identity you have at our age stripped away and replaced with "super-mommy" in 9 months (which is not long enough to adjust to ANYTHING that major, let alone the idea of motherhood) is devastating. Now you're trying to care for another human being, be super-mommy AND figure out who you are.

    I know it's a horrible approach to the situation, but every time I get down on myself for the children I wish I had, I stop and remind myself of the hell that my friends live in. Not knowing whether or not the child's father will throw some money your way for child support, begging him like a dog to take his child for at least an hour, being fearful of both of your futures and seeing people like me complain about how much working through college sucks when in reality, many of them would trade places with me in a heartbeat.

    Remember that.

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  • DarkAngel212

    Do some babysitting jobs. Having fun? ok now times all that mess, fun, etc by about 100. still want kids? You really sure you want to be committed to taking care of someone for 18 years? You have money saved up? You want your baby to have no father? You dont want to be able to go party go hang out with your friends, go out just for a quiet walk?

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  • TerryVie

    When i was 16/17 i also longed for a baby.

    I was very close to just stop taking the pill and leaving things up to chance.

    Luckily, i did not. However cute a little baby may be, however heartwarming to have a young child, it _DOES_ have a serious impact on your life across all aspects.

    You have a much harder time studying/learning a job, if you already did or do not plan to study, it's a lot harder to actually FIND a job since you are not very flexible with times, even if you do, it's hard to keep social life up to par(you simply don't HAVE the same time and carelessness to go out with friends/meet at their place for stuff), also holidays(say you wanted to cross the desert, go diving, ...), the flat(1 room-apartments won't work long.), your partner(or whoever will provide financial income), etc....a child touches ALL aspects of your life, and many of them not in a good way. Don't get me wrong, it's something wonderful, but i believe it's better to first enjoy the life that you cannot have the same way with a small child, THEN have children.

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  • Ney

    17 should still be with their pajamas at night.... Don't make a baby yet coz your still a baby yourself!

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  • luicyyou

    Ok first you have to ask yourself why you want a kid?is it cause of all the baby talk on Mtv no dont do it your way too young you sound dumb

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  • I'm not going to have a child RIGHT NOW. I do want my baby to have a legitimate father figure. My boyfriend now is planning on joining the navy. He wants to stay with me even when he is gone.

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    • joybird

      Found this for you:

      The government calculated the cost of raising child . . .
      . . . from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock. That doesn't even touch college tuition. For those with kids, that figure leads to wild fantasies about all the things we could have bought, all the places we could have traveled, all the money we could have banked

      if not for (insert child's name here). For others, that number might confirm the decision to remain childless.

      But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into $8,896.66 a year, $741.38 a month or $171.08 a week. That's a mere $24.44 a day.

      Just over a dollar an hour. Still, you might think the best financial advice says don't have children if you want to be rich.

      Food for thought before you jump into anything!

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  • I have stayed multiple nights with my friend and her son. I have a case of insomnia already so sleeping isn't exactly on my list of importance anyways. Even if it was, it's almost impossible some nights to sleep at all. I just feel like I want a baby... I feel like I can do it.

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    • lufa

      You're going to do what you want anyways and life will be your ultimate teacher.

      But intelligent people learn from the mistakes/advice of others, stupid people learn the hard way-from the harsh realities of their own experiences.

      Think about it.

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    • joybird

      Excellent! Let her go on holiday for 2-3 weeks and you can handle all the daily chores of getting to the shops with a baby in the pram etc. I hope you run your own car, it's awful on the bus / train.

      Do you like the shit and vomit too? And all the laundry?

      This is boring me now!

      Your own brain hasn't even finished developing from being a child yourself, and won't until you are 25yo - so make that decision when you have grown up!!

      Otherwise go ahead at your peril, and the poor child's too :o(

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  • maybe make 2 promises to yourself , one get a career study etc, two wait till yr 24 years old then rethink

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  • lufa

    it's normal to want to have a kid-even at a younger age because it's part of your biological urges.

    however it is very critical you have a stable job/career first. Nowadays a good job requires a university or college education.

    with high-school you'll be stuck doing menial work or manual labor. Do you really want to raise a child while you're working in shitty, insecure jobs?

    be smart about this hun and don't get yourself into a lifelong trap. It takes about 20 years or more to raise a kid.

    also find a guy that will be there for you for the long-term, it's extremely difficult to raise a kid on your own. I've seen it with my close relatives-the struggle is not worth it.

    If you don't find a good job and/or husband, then don't bother. Bringing a kid into the world when you're not ready to is the same as child abuse imo.

    Also don't ever count on the income of a man. Most men will become your overlord and make your life a living hell. Be dependent on no one but yourself.

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  • suckonthis9

    It's normal for a young woman to want to have a baby.
    Many do not consider the consequences of this.
    You should think of not just yourself, but also the future of the baby (who will grow into a child, then a teenager, then an adult).
    I wonder how many women consider what the world population is, and what it will be, before they decide to have a baby?
    One strategy that can be used to stop population grrowth is to delay pregnancies and childbirth.

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  • underager

    You are just very maternal. It's natural and normal.
    Society wants you to be a hatchet-faced, miserable career woman with no husband and no family.
    Who will be crying her eyes out at her failed IVF results in her 30s.

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  • assh0le

    Too many women will never be mothers cos they left it too late. They never had enough money, or time or the right guy. Now their eggs have rotted and it's too late.

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    • lufa

      I disagree, there is enough time for a girl in her 20s to get a job and a man to have a family with. Girls stay attractive until they hit their early 40s.

      Some women in their 30s and 40s still have kids. Of course you must screen for genetic defects-but you can still be parents later in life.

      It is far better to have children when you're established, have a home and stable career in your mid-life than to try to do it on a wing and a prayer in your late teens.

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