I love my best friend

Ok, so me and my friend have been friends for a while but recently we broke apart. Me and my friend were best friends, but then he won't talk to me now because of an event. We met in the seventh grade and have been friends for a while but I started to grow closer to him and it progressed to me caressing him a bit. After a while I couldn't hold in my love for him and while we were talking I just burst out, "CAN I KISS YOU?" I told him I loved him but he just freaked out and now we never talk, ever since then I seldom leave my bedroom and always cry my self to sleep every night, we are roommates but now we split our room in half. Is it normal to not want to let go of my love for him?