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I get incredibly anxious in crowds and lines to the point where I want to klll myself. I just want to escape and sometimes start yelling at the clerks to hurry up when I see them moving too slowly or chatting casually with the customers. In crowds I want to punch the back of people's heads.
Silly me, I thought the earth revolved around the sun. Nobody likes queues but if we all started shouting, the queues would never move. Those poor clerks are just trying to get through the day, the same as you.
Try earphones.
I'm not a clerk, but if you yell at me I'm going to slow down just to spite you, because your phobia doesn't give you the right to treat me poorly!
Man people are easy to piss off these days. All you need is people to make some people want to punch others in the head and kill themselves. Try not being a snowflake for once!
It's normal to not like crowds, but unleashing your problem on other people isn't.
OMG! My folks just called me, they invited me to come over for pancakes, and bacon! Woo-hoo!
You and Rose have a bad habit of going off-topic... this is trolling and not nice to the OP.
You can block me too if you don't like my comments.
I've worked in customer service, and in retail and most people do those jobs to the best of their abilities. Clerks take a lot of unnecessary abuse, your personal anxieties, and social phobias are not excuses to treat other people badly.
What you really need to do is to seek out some professional help for your problems instead of taking those problems out on other people.
If you are feeling so bad that you want to kill yourself, and you want to punch other people who are minding their own business in the head then you are most likely experiencing panic attacks. You need to tell your physician about your terrible anxiety. I dunno if a primary care physician will be as apt to prescribe benzodiazepines now as they used to be in my day, but what you probably need is to be prescribed anti-depressants, and anti-anxiety medications. Medication alone is of course not the full answer, and you may have to see a psychiatrist instead of just your primary care physician.
In addition to medication you need to see a therapist. Find a mental health professional who specializes in treating anxiety as well as depression. What would be ideal would be for you to find someone who treats not just anxiety, but actual phobias.
I also think you should look for and Google relaxation exercises like deep breathing exercises, relaxation techniques. You should be able to practice deep breathing exercises on your own with an app, or a YouTube video.
There is also another technique called self soothing. I saw a video of a trans woman with BPD talking about a self soothing kit a few years back, and I think it's a great idea. Basically a self soothing kit consists of five soothing things which correspond to each of five senses. Here's an example:
Scent- lavender oil
Taste- herbal tea
Touch- stuffed animal
Sight- video of baby animals
Sound- relaxing music
Basically you would want use the self soothing kit to help you calm down once you've left the stressful situation.
I apologise if you don't like my comments on your post. If you don't want to see me go off topic again, click on my name, it'll take you to my profile and you'll see an option to block me on it. Once blocked, you won't see me on your posts ever again.
:)
OMG! My mom made pancakes, bacon and fried eggs. She even had real maple syrup! I felt so good after that awesome lunch/brunch. I wanted to go to church, and run some errands, but I ended up watching documentaries on YouTube with my folks. Feels good. 😋
try seeing a therapist, they'll be able to figure out what's bugging you and how to solve it
Ive had the same problem about 3 years ago,
You probably have a lot of stress going through you.
Personal issues. Its fine. Just thoughts in the end. Nothint to compare to murder.
I hate when there are loads of people and queues it stresses me out personally and I get annoyed. Listening to music quite loud on my earphones helps a lot
Sometimes crowds make me angry. If walmart is busy ill be in a bad mood and rush to leave.
I don't like crowds and I avoid them. If I do go somewhere crowded like a gig I never ever go into the middle of the crowd. I always stand on the fringes. It feels very unsafe to me. When I was a teen one time I was in a crowd and people starting falling over and it was like dominoes. It was terrifying. I thought I was going to get crushed to death. I was very small and managed to crawl out but lost a shoe.