I look at my baby and feel nothing

I thought getting pregnant would make me feel love, but I feel nothing. I feel extremely burdened and I'm not sure if things will change. I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to but it feels meaningless.

Is It Normal?
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  • I'm confused - have you given birth yet?

    Either way, depression in these circumstances is more common than you think. I think a lot of it comes from the huge pressure that is felt. It is unacceptable not to love your baby and be a perfect mum, and especially if it's your first baby the life style change is huge. It's ok to admit that you're struggling and need help.

    Go to the doctor. Hope everything gets better OP x

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  • I felt nothing but fear when I had my daughter because she was very frail and had nearly died after birth. I even kept forgetting what her name was ! I do think some of that was due to sleep deprivation because she need to be fed about every 3 hours around the clock, but looking back it was almost certainly post partum depression.

    PLEASE GET HELP! Both for yourself and your baby and the rest of your family. Find out if there are support groups near you and/or talk to your doctor.

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  • Unfortunately it is normal. Please express this to your doctor as well as a close family memeber so they can keep an eye on you for safety's sake. How old is the baby? My dad told me once that babies start smiling at 6 months just to make parents actually get some joy out of tending for them 24/7.

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  • Got the mommy blues, is ok as long as you don't want to hurt the baby or yourself. Hang in there there they'll go away.

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    • Not necessarily: untreated post partum depression can develop into post partum psychosis, and it's NOT ok for a new mum to be feeling this way. You are minimising a very serious problem.

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  • Babies are disgusting and irritating. By me there's a helpful service that hospitals have where you can drop your baby off no questions asked and they dispose of it for you. You should look into this.

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    • In the states you take them to the fire department and they won't ask questions.

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    • dispose of it for you. laughed out loud. they bring it to an adoption agency or foster care. not the best thing for a newborn baby that needs attention, but it is not like they are going to throw the baby in the trash

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      • Not like some smoker will carry it out to the dumpster on his way to have another cigarette?

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    • They dispose of it? Like at a medical waste facility?

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  • Maybe it isn't yours.

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  • Take antidepressants. Its probably postpartum depression.

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  • postnatal depression, especially if you already had depression.

    I tell you I feel like I am giving birth right now.... Dam I am having a bad poo, an I ate lots of chilies last night so it burns as well.

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  • Sell it on Craigslist if you don't want it.

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  • If you feel this, as difficult as it may be, go and see your doctor and speak to professionals. PND or PPD is real, and scary, and a wild ride if you have it. If it helps, if any of your friends or familyhave had babies themselves, ask them for advice. Hope this helps, and people 'normalising' this need to stop. Its not normal. Its a serious problem xx get some help, you'll pull through.

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  • wait until he giggles
    altho good luck to him, hes born on the shittest planet of them all

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  • How old is the baby? This will pass I promise. When you see him grow and developing he will win you over.

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    • Post partum depression often doesn't just "pass", it can develop into psychosis. OP needs help, not trivialisation of a very serious problem: please keep quiet when you don't know what you're talking about.

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      • I dont know what I'm talking about huh? Do you have a newborn child? My wife is going through post partum depression right now.

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        • Not now, but I did once way back, and she subsequently developed post partum depression after her second and third child were born. I feel sorry for your wife if you believe it will just "pass" and I hope she's getting real and professional support elsewhere.

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          • She did go to get help but they just tried to give her SSRIs. I dont want her taking those because shes breastfeeding. I grew up on all kinds of pills and thats prolly why im so fucked up. We just talk about it and a reinforce positive thinking. Usually its something in particular shes upset about like worrying about not being a good mom. I reassure her shes a great mom. Thats more than I feel the doctors did for her. The doctor wont pick up the phone in the middle of the night but I will.

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