I landed a job and my friend responded by saying he expects i'll get fired
(This is a bit of a rant because I'm venting.)
I recently graduated from a top university and landed a great entry-level job. Upon hearing, my friend responded by saying he doesn't think I'll last more than a few months, even saying that I might not last two weeks. I asked him to clarify what he means and he said that I was just less capable than the general population, and especially less capable compared to the people who might be hired for a job like the one I got. It pisses me off. Basically everyone else in my life told me even before I applied that they thought this type of job would be a great fit for me and once I got the job offer they were all happy.
Some things about this friend:
He's constantly pushing people out of his life and he has a reputation for being instantly hard to deal with. Many of my other friends openly don't like him. He hasn't had a steady job in years and doesn't plan on getting one, expressing that he is above them (although he does attempt to trade stock). He couldn't transfer out of the JC to a top school, so he gave up on finishing his degree even though he could have definitely gone somewhere else. He says things like: "I am extremely closed-minded because I know everything already."
Despite all this, I believe I treat him exceptionally well. I have never once put him down for not having a job or not finishing his degree. While other people say he's a "shit human being" I tell him I think he's smart and has real potential. I'm there for him when he's having anxiety attacks or wants to spend time with someone.
I do think him saying that I won't do well at my job comes from his own misunderstanding of who I am and what the job entails, but also his own resentment towards me and life in general. I've noticed over the years he's compared himself to me in many ways which align with him saying that: "he sees everything competitively". I have some sympathy because we've been close friends since we were 13, his dad committed suicide when he was 7, and he delt with schizophrenic symptoms for a couple of years while he was smoking weed every day (and still deals with them sometimes). But having him try to put me down is not cool.
I want to handle this in the most mature/wise way as possible. When I confronted him on what he said, and on other things he said negatively about me, he just responded by saying: "I don't sugarcoat." Right now I kinda feel like I hate him and I want to distance myself from him a lot. Is this the right thing? He's said that he worries he might lose touch with reality if I ever exited his life (he talks to me more than anyone). To me, it seems like I should distance myself emotionally but just be there for him if he needs me.
| Why do you care what he thinks? | 3 | |
| You shouldn't be friends with him unless he apologizes sincerely | 5 | |
| Why are you bothering with him at all? | 8 | |
| Remain friends with him but not as close | 1 |