I know it's normal to do these things

Having learned what everyone else is buying, believing, thinking, doing and listening to for the last time I went shopping buying Arnott's Scotch Finger when the other bloke was buying chocolate Oreo (that's dark chocolate Oreo with a chocolate cream). And having received my Dave's Gourmet Insanity Sauce in the mail at Mum's house, which is the original hottest sauce in the universe, I put about 1/4 of a capful of the insanity sauce in my mother's vegetarian bolognaise with broccoli florets, which is my late lunch this Friday the 11th which is lucky for me because Mum didn't throw her vegetarian sauce away, Mum at first didn't like it, I laughed when I walked out the kitchen putting my insanity sauce away, then Mum added Parmesan cheese to the "bolognaise" sauce and it actually tasted good, and she said "it's not bad", I ate the pasta and her sauce and it's pretty fiery (thanks to my secret ingredient which Mum found out), I feel like my friend's dad David Irving with how average I'm trying to perform, I said to Mum about the pasta: "if it's crunchy you're in trouble" and Mum took a dislike to that which in my books normal people are orthodox, that automatically means they hold established views, which means they're accepted and this is difficult in front of people who know me to have been any kind of weird. I told Mum to accept it, then 3 minutes later I stormed in there in the front yard hardly happy proving to her I'm a regular guy, by saying I do my shopping, my regular shopping, buying everyday items, I dress in normal clothes and I buy my favourite wine like the next bloke. This almost stopped there, implying there's nothing "only one" about me, that I'm very average and common (translation: normal!). So when I did my shopping on Wednesday I improved on my normalcy: a shopping list of basic items and not the word "normal" on it, buying almond milk, chicken mince by accident (I thought it was chicken strips), 2 vindaloo sauces, carrots, hot dog rolls, sesame seed brioche burger buns from some French-manufactured company (not a perfect match of normal burger buns but close enough), tomatoes, lettuce, lime body wash (every normal person is a little bit different), and 3 Stagg southwest style chicken chilli, also tobacco, 2 packets of Ventti rollie papers, and then after that I bought a DeBortoli Reserve Tawny (that means it's an alcoholic wine) for $5.50, then my next shopping, on Thursday was me eating a BBQ chicken pizza for $13, and buying Arnott's Scotch Finger and Norsca Forest Fresh roll-on deodorant, in my normal average clothes and white bucket hat. Normal people get some of these items at once, but most of them are no different to most normal people's items. David Irving, & the guy who gave me port in the dry zone at the bus stop in the Adelaide CBD, Georg Hegel (a philosopher) and any man who thinks he's a cowboy are all my role models (the cowboy one I don't do all the time mind you), as normal means following a norm, and norm means 1. the achievements of a large group, 2. the behaviour typical of a social group, and 3. authoritative standard, model. Therefore normal means you have a role model, I define it differently to that but no different to the next man, as convention: the ordinary, usual, traditional and orthodox as against the deviant, unexpected, novel and heterodox, I therefore define this as the average achievements of conventional people, I don't see accepted doctrines and beliefs as abnormal, and I don't see Plato as abnormal, he's the most popular philosopher, and mind you people are getting me wrong, I'm a regular guy, nothing "special" about me, nothing "different" about me, or "weird" or "strange" or "odd" about me, and this is the issue with people who know me, who don't know the real me, they try to change me but I would never change into a unique lunatic, I'm average and normal and Mum secretly despises that and I'm tired of all weird people attacking on normality, finding us contemptible, it's not a bad thing, it's normal, it's being accepted!