I have no confidence

When I was little...like most kids... i exuted confidence, and was the most outgoing little child ever and didn't care what anyone thought about me. Over the years that has diminshed...and now I am at my breaking point. I literally have no self-confidenc left in me. All the time, I worry about my looks, my persona, but most of all my personality and my social skills. I have a boyfriend who is the PERFECT socializer... he gets along well with anyone, anytime, anywhere, and is the definition of confidence. I hae been blaming why I feel so self-conscious on him... but I know its me and my jealousy. I don't speak when I'm with people I dont know... thoughts simply don't come to my head. I have no idea what I wanna do with my life... and I have become so depressed from it... I just feel worthless and pathetic... and I dont have a drop of confidence left in me. Help me.... what do i do?

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78% Normal
Based on 58 votes (45 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • ZZeny

    im a teenager now and i lost all my confedence because when your a child your life is in black and white and dont realise reality but as you become older into your teens you realise the world and get paranoid about what other people think of you [sorry for my spelling not very good lol]

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  • Alaskaraven

    well, he likes you, so there must be SOMETHING you can be confident about.

    Everyone is insecure, being jealous is normal. ACTING on it is low- immature, insecure, childish to show such lack of self control. Stop it.

    You want to have confidence? ACT confident to begin with. Smile, hold your head up, and tell yourself that YOU ARE A DECENT HUMAN BEING. Show ppl you meet that you know we are all in this world together, and you have a valuable contribution to make, just like everyone else.

    Then, LOOK at your accomplishments. I am proud to have spent some of my years raising good boys/ young men. I busted my ass teaching them and it is my life's achievement. Do that- find what you are doing, what you have done, and thank God for helping you do it. Then remind yourself every minute of every day that you are a contributing member of society.

    As bad as this sounds, look around at all those resource sucking losers in town- stay humble on the outside, but KNOW you are not one of them.

    The other thing? Small, regular, random acts of kindness. Kindness is free- smile and be nice to strangers. I feel confident because I do things for ppl, help others, in small ways, but ways that make a difference to their lives. You know what goes around comes around, and God will notice and help you too. How can you not feel good about yourself after that?

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  • normalfeet

    You sound just like me

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  • MonsterEnergyy

    That's sad xD.

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  • DomBark

    just believe in yourself.
    everyone has good things about them, look for those things, and show them off to others. if its your looks your worried about, then look for parts of your looks that you think are good, or ask your boyfriend what he thinks. the worst thing to do is to be self concious, no one will judge you unless your an extroadinarily ugly, extremely obese and an awful personality. and i can tell you have a good personality, and i very doubt your ugly and fat. just ask your boyfriend with help to find things you like. and maybe buy some clothes you think look great on you, this should boost your confindence. if it gets worse, the worst that could happen is seeing a psychiatrist, (this doesnt mean your insane, they could just help you show how good you are)
    so dont worry about it. :)

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  • JillV

    I say it's not normal.Something must happened to you somewhere along the line that is causing you this self doubt.
    I really think talking to a counselor would be best for you.They have the skills to get to the underlying issue causing you this grief.They can also help you build your self es steam back up.

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  • smileytea

    I dont agree with any of the above comments.You asked a direct question" what do you do?" Its really simple, get a journal and write in it every day, anything and everything that you want to write.Remember The journal is your friend.Do this for seven days.Then have a page dedicated totally to everything you like about you.Next write on another page all the things you want to do, let your imagination run, write what you want, their are no boundaries about what you can think of and write.Do this for your self. Set aside time for you only to do this.A regular time, you decide how long, you need to write.Then take a break from this for a day or two.Now go back and read what you have written.After this, start a new page in your journal and write down all the things you don't want to do.list the things you don't like.After this go back to just writing your journal each day, at a time you to decide.Writing anything that you want.Continue doing this until you want to stop writing in your journal....Maybe also look at going to talk to a counselor too.

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  • awatcher

    HI. Have you told a dr about this. Sometimes this happenes when ppl constantly demean you or you fail at things a lot. It can also come with emerging mental illness.

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    • smileytea

      This is a valid comment.Sometimes we can have people in our lives that are so controlling over us, that we are unable to see this and having a counsellor work with you can help you determine what you want to do about this.

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  • cuntsniffer

    you don't "exute", you "exude." But since you make stupid errors like that, you don't deserve to live in Chechnya with all the rest of us balls-sniffers.

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  • roymer

    Same with me, my social skills are rubbish and I find it sometimes very hard to communicate with people...The situation was worse a while ago when a encountered a harsh social enviorment but at least I've learned some tricks to get along with some types of people. It wasn't very pleasant though.

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  • LunaLaFortuna

    You have Asperger's syndrome, check it out and get support. You're not alone in this. I used to be exactly like it. Confident as a kid then not as a teenager and young adult. I'm back to being confident again, don't know what's happened but things do get better with time. All the best!

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