as it is right now, you cannot and should not approach the child. keep that on the back burner for a little bit.
yes, call the mother and start some dialogue with her. she may be willing to let you start visiting the girl. i suggest that only you, at first, visit the girl, and that the visit be in the livingroom of the mother. after visits have gone on for awhile, maybe the mother and girl will feel comfortable so that you can have visits that don't include the mother. once that is achieved, then it's time to bring in your current wife, and lastly the 3 year old. after all, you are a stranger to this child, and the mother doesn't really know anything about how you turned out. do you see what i'm saying?
whether or not the mother is willing to let you into the girl's life, you still need to take some action.
the first thing you should be doing is putting an attorney on retainer. you have two separate legal issues coming.
1st: there isn't any other reason that i can think of as to why a state would order a paternity test other than to recoup welfare monies that they have been paying to support your child. they will also be looking to your payments for future support as well.
2nd: even with the test proving you are the father, right now, you aren't anything more than a sperm doner. that is how the state and authorities are going to look at it. if you want to start visitations, that is a totally separate court event and you won't be allowed to even bring it up while working your first issue. and item #1 has already started, and no doubt, it will be the first thing allowed in the courts.
you don't mention a current wife, but if you have one, i suggest that she is the first one brought on board. the 3 year old baby is probably going to be the last one to meet the 10 year old, so i think you are jumping the gun worrying about that.
i have never met my 10 year old daughter
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as it is right now, you cannot and should not approach the child. keep that on the back burner for a little bit.
yes, call the mother and start some dialogue with her. she may be willing to let you start visiting the girl. i suggest that only you, at first, visit the girl, and that the visit be in the livingroom of the mother. after visits have gone on for awhile, maybe the mother and girl will feel comfortable so that you can have visits that don't include the mother. once that is achieved, then it's time to bring in your current wife, and lastly the 3 year old. after all, you are a stranger to this child, and the mother doesn't really know anything about how you turned out. do you see what i'm saying?
whether or not the mother is willing to let you into the girl's life, you still need to take some action.
the first thing you should be doing is putting an attorney on retainer. you have two separate legal issues coming.
1st: there isn't any other reason that i can think of as to why a state would order a paternity test other than to recoup welfare monies that they have been paying to support your child. they will also be looking to your payments for future support as well.
2nd: even with the test proving you are the father, right now, you aren't anything more than a sperm doner. that is how the state and authorities are going to look at it. if you want to start visitations, that is a totally separate court event and you won't be allowed to even bring it up while working your first issue. and item #1 has already started, and no doubt, it will be the first thing allowed in the courts.
you don't mention a current wife, but if you have one, i suggest that she is the first one brought on board. the 3 year old baby is probably going to be the last one to meet the 10 year old, so i think you are jumping the gun worrying about that.