I have never met my 10 year old daughter

Well here goes nothing,about three yrs. ago i was introduced to my 11 yr old daughter.me and her mother had an on again off again relationship.out of this courtship a child was born.she got married about three months later,so i assumed the child was her husbands.i saw her with the child when the child was about 2 yrs old,i thought something looked odd about the child,but i couldnt figure out what it was.....fast foward 9 yrs..and i run into her mother again,this time the mother tells me the little baby i had last seen was my child.after confirming this with a dna test i broke down and cried like a baby,i couldnt believe this was happening to me.i questioned the Man upstairs as to why this would be my destiny.i have 3 sons that i love dearly,i want my little girl to get that same love and affection.....thats where the drama lies.her mother wont let me see my child now because i dont want to be with her.in GA if another man signs the birth certificate it has to be disproven he is not the parent before you can pursue any paternity.i am deeply saddened by this and i only want to have that daughter-fathet bond i have never had...so im asking the author of this article if you read this please reply back,i just wanna hear how everything worked out for you and your child,maybe it can help me...

If she wants to meet you then it would be wrong not to go after her :)

Ok I am a daughter who did not have a Dad in my life and for period of time he was here he was cruel....little Girls and big girls NEED their Dads!!! It is not to late to be involved in a relationship or to start one with your daughter! She needs it and you need it..And as for your 3 year old having a sister will be exciting for her and she will just except it if you dont make a huge issue out of it...She's 3 how much do you really remember at 3??? 3 year olds are innocent and precious and they accept things at face value if you make this right it will be awsome for her to have a big sister...I have experience I have 5 kids and 2 are adopted !!! and I love them ALL the same and when we added a new family member we just made it a normal family event...Not knowing your 10 year old is NOT your fault but if you deny her now..it will be!!! you have 2 daughters and you need to father them both just as we have 5 children 4 grown now but we parent them all regardless of how they came into our family and one was 11 when we adopted him..it was harder than adopting an infant but you are the adult in this issue and you set the tone of acceptance in your family...I suggest family counseling for all of you..This can and will work out but work is the key word and as Dad you need to father both daughters and you need to do everything possible to make it work,,,your 10 year old needs a Daddy just as bad as your 3 year old..you sound loving and concerned for both so let your heart lead you get help..like church or counseling and just start being a Dad now and work this out legally if need be because you have a 10 old who has prob been wondering for years where her daddy is..and you can explain the truth to her and also let her know..Her Daddy is here now for her and she will never be with out you again...Great luck to you and God Bless

as it is right now, you cannot and should not approach the child. keep that on the back burner for a little bit.

yes, call the mother and start some dialogue with her. she may be willing to let you start visiting the girl. i suggest that only you, at first, visit the girl, and that the visit be in the livingroom of the mother. after visits have gone on for awhile, maybe the mother and girl will feel comfortable so that you can have visits that don't include the mother. once that is achieved, then it's time to bring in your current wife, and lastly the 3 year old. after all, you are a stranger to this child, and the mother doesn't really know anything about how you turned out. do you see what i'm saying?

whether or not the mother is willing to let you into the girl's life, you still need to take some action.

the first thing you should be doing is putting an attorney on retainer. you have two separate legal issues coming.

1st: there isn't any other reason that i can think of as to why a state would order a paternity test other than to recoup welfare monies that they have been paying to support your child. they will also be looking to your payments for future support as well.

2nd: even with the test proving you are the father, right now, you aren't anything more than a sperm doner. that is how the state and authorities are going to look at it. if you want to start visitations, that is a totally separate court event and you won't be allowed to even bring it up while working your first issue. and item #1 has already started, and no doubt, it will be the first thing allowed in the courts.

you don't mention a current wife, but if you have one, i suggest that she is the first one brought on board. the 3 year old baby is probably going to be the last one to meet the 10 year old, so i think you are jumping the gun worrying about that.

I've never met my father I went to Greece this year in July I'm now 22, I was brought up by my grandparents and they only told me when I turned 21 about my dad and they knew where he lived . So we went and it's now halfway through October....
and yesterday he called me, a guy we met that I gave my number to while we were in Greece told him about me!
I also left a letter at his parents house but he told me they never gave him it. We spoke yesterday for one hour on Skype , in one breath he said that he had asked my mum to make a go of things and in the next he said he thought I wasn't his & he asked me for a DNA which is fair enough I've been more than understanding I told him I wanted to causing no trouble.... We agreed to do the DNA we ended the chat on Skype after about an hour and a lot of questions from both him & his wife (who wasn't as receptive) he then rang me this morning and basically said if I try to contact him again or we go back to the Greek island where he lives he personally will cut up me and my family! Which hurt but I wasn't mad...
It's messing with his life,
And he's going through the emotions as he's just found out!
The reason that you need to get in touch with your daughter is because for 22 years I've always wondered where he is, who he is, what hes like & what he works as , I've often thought when I've looked up at the moon it's calming and makes me content to know that he is under the same moon as me. Every plane that flew over the house as a child I wondered and I wished that he'd be on it!
Even after everything that's been said I don't blame him I am an adult now so it is different, but he's never tried! And still I have no hard feelings!
you can't change yesterday but you can certainly change tomorrow!!!
Life & time are both precious things that we humans take for graunted.
In what ever way you contact her she will be truly happy...
God forbid something happens to either of you... Would be a life lived with regret.
go get a future with your baby you both deserve it
.... X

I agree with ^^ MercedesBenz, the scenario that was written by the above person could be true. Y else would the state come and order a paternity test?
But now that U kno she's Ur's, take it step by step. Don't involve anybody else, leave Ur wife/girlfriend (If U have one) & Ur 3 year old aside from this just for now until U get everything settled with Ur 10year old & her mom.
By the way don't feel guilty, it's not Ur fault that U didn't kno U had a daughter out there. True were 16 at the time, U could've pursued the issue in finding out if she was pregnant from U but that's all in the past now so just think about now and take care of her it's never too late.
**Good Luck & keep us posted**

It is NOT too late to be in her life. Get involved now.

I did not meet my father until I was 6 years old (mom divorced dad, dad was in military overseas, mom never gave me his letters, etc.). I dont even think about it now (missing the 6 years). We are close and I know he loves me. Get involved. Dont bring in the rest of your family yet, establish a bond with your daughter first. Otherwise you run the risk of her feeling like you chose your new family over her. Be open and tell everyone what you told us.

The state probably ordered the paternity test bc the woman was with or married someone else, they got a divorce, she demanded child support and he said "I dont think the kid is mine". The paternity test was administered on him and it showed she was not his. So the mom said, "well the only other person it couldve been is Jeremy". So they ordered a test for you and she wants child support. I dont believe the state will come after you for reimbursement on any medicade or food stamps they had given the child. I think its the scenario I just broke out.

Good luck and update us.

tell her everything you told us

MEET HER.......meet her. meet her.

My suggestion is, set up a meeting, well that is if her mother allows it, and try to be in her life, she will probably never accept you as a father but just let her know your there