I have fight anxiety!!! what do you think?

3 Comments

I'm a 20 yr old guy. I'm well built and average height. But there's something I can't understand. I've got into a couple of situations before where I had to get physical. I was the victor each and every time, but every time I was scared too. Like I never was the kind of raging demon they show in tv. Every time I fought, it was always about blocking the other guys' blows, more than hitting him. Is it normal to be a little scared ,and try to avoid fights? I've read that being a little nervous helps you keep focus and keeps you grounded, instead of being an arrogant pig.... And I also know that the best of people cannot handle some situations sometimes. I keep having nightmares that my girlfriend is getting abused by a couple of thugs and I run away from her. That will never happen, yet I can't stop doubting myself. And another twist to the story is my parents' very unhappy marriage. My mum calls my dad a coward so many times!!! They are just living together, but are not together, get it? I just want to make sure that I can be a good guy, good boyfriend, good husband..... HELP ME....

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  • Koda
    11 years ago | pl

    OK. Just want to say that you should never feel you "have to get physical". It might sound cheesy, but violence is never the answer. You can almost always avoid a fight, though you may be left with hurt pride. I never equated being a man with being tough or aggressive. I think that's a negative stereotype.

    I've never been in a fight myself, even when I'm provoked I just ignore the person/people, walk away, or try to talk myself out of it. Regarding what you said about fight anxiety though.. I think you're very right about being a better fighter when nervous rather than when acting cocky. When you're anxious, you're adrenaline flows which makes your focus better and your reflexes much quicker.

    I think you're focusing way too much of your energy worrying about machismo and "being a man". Just focus on love in all your relations, and if problems come up, handle it like a mature adult and stay cool. Don't ever let yourself take the bate from some macho guy, if you're meant to be a hero, the time will come when you'll have a real decision to make.

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  • Santoslobo
    11 years ago | pl

    It's called the "Fight-or-flight response". It's perfectly normal.

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  • CoolJoe
    11 years ago | pl

    You should learn some sort of Martial Art as soon as possible, or go to a gym and start training some Boxing.
    Not to be MORE agressive, but to learn and gain more self-confidence, and obviously learn what to do when push comes to shove. Aikido and Jiu-Jitsu are very nice, Karate and Tae-Kwon-Do are faster styles. You got what it takes. It's all in the MIND. And SELF-DEFENSE can get you out of a LOT of tricky situatons for the rest of your life, your REAL life ;) Good Luck !

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