You need help. Alcohol dependency at this level is not something you should be trying to kick by yourself. The withdrawal can be dangerous so you really do need to go to the doctor to talk about this.
The problem is, you have to want to change. Nothing will happen without your desire to get better, and to be honest, from your posts, it doesn't sound to me like you really want to change yet.
I have empty vodka and wine bottles all over my room?
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You need help. Alcohol dependency at this level is not something you should be trying to kick by yourself. The withdrawal can be dangerous so you really do need to go to the doctor to talk about this.
The problem is, you have to want to change. Nothing will happen without your desire to get better, and to be honest, from your posts, it doesn't sound to me like you really want to change yet.
I really hope you get better soon.