You've got to be careful not to put her on a pedestal. If you've been daydreaming about her all year, she's probably already firmly up there. So try and talk her down (in your mind).
The problem is that if your mental perception is of her, the absolute goddess and you, the unworthy peasant, that's going to carry over into how you talk and act around her. She'll think you're an unworthy peasant too, and that she can do better.
You don't want to be the guy, who obsesses over a girl for years and ends up getting hurt because she's just never going to be interested in him meekly trying to please her.
You have to give her something to be attracted to. And let her know she is not the centre of your universe.
I'm not saying you're doing any of that, but it's possible.
Maybe she is already attracted to you. So maybe you should mentally get a bit of perspective, try not to be too infatuated with her. That way, you can confidently ask her out, and be prepared for all possibilities.
Sure, It means that you think very, very highly of someone. You might think she's almost perfect, you hang on her every word and always try to please her or impress her.
When you have a crush on someone for a long time, that tends to happen. But it means that, in your mind at least, she is this magnificent, perfect creature. And by comparison, you're not. So in a sense, she has all the power. It's not "real" power, it's just power that you've given her in your mind by bestowing all this "awesomeness" on her.
All actions start out as thoughts. So if you're putting her on a pedestal, then reality will play out so that she is higher in the pecking order than you are. She will have all the power. And she might see you as less important, or less worthy than she is.
And ideally, you want the reverse situation. You want her to be the one thinking about you and how awesome you are.
So the way you think about these little relationship dynamics effects how you'll act, which affects how she will think about you, which affects the whole relationship dynamic. So that's why it's good to keep some perspective and try not to let your mind be tricked into thinking she's much more amazing than she really is. She can still amazing, but just without having all that power over you.
Anyway, it's probably not good to think about things like this too much. It's just something to remember in the back of your mind.
{If you start analysing social situations too much, you might start seeing people as robots to be manipulated, which is just an awful way to look at things}.
But, it's also good to know.
Good luck, and sorry for the chapter-long response. I've gotta learn how to edit better...
*And again, don't take this too seriously. People give advice on how to get girls based on what works for them. But you've got your own personality with your own strengths. So use your personal strengths and assets (sense of humour etc) to your advantage and figure out what works.
I have a huge crush on my friend.
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You've got to be careful not to put her on a pedestal. If you've been daydreaming about her all year, she's probably already firmly up there. So try and talk her down (in your mind).
The problem is that if your mental perception is of her, the absolute goddess and you, the unworthy peasant, that's going to carry over into how you talk and act around her. She'll think you're an unworthy peasant too, and that she can do better.
You don't want to be the guy, who obsesses over a girl for years and ends up getting hurt because she's just never going to be interested in him meekly trying to please her.
You have to give her something to be attracted to. And let her know she is not the centre of your universe.
I'm not saying you're doing any of that, but it's possible.
Maybe she is already attracted to you. So maybe you should mentally get a bit of perspective, try not to be too infatuated with her. That way, you can confidently ask her out, and be prepared for all possibilities.
*Take with a grain of salt*
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fresh121099
7 years ago
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Thanks ill take this into mind :) also would you be able to elaberate on your first sentence about putting her on the pedestal.
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victorygin
7 years ago
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Sure, It means that you think very, very highly of someone. You might think she's almost perfect, you hang on her every word and always try to please her or impress her.
When you have a crush on someone for a long time, that tends to happen. But it means that, in your mind at least, she is this magnificent, perfect creature. And by comparison, you're not. So in a sense, she has all the power. It's not "real" power, it's just power that you've given her in your mind by bestowing all this "awesomeness" on her.
All actions start out as thoughts. So if you're putting her on a pedestal, then reality will play out so that she is higher in the pecking order than you are. She will have all the power. And she might see you as less important, or less worthy than she is.
And ideally, you want the reverse situation. You want her to be the one thinking about you and how awesome you are.
So the way you think about these little relationship dynamics effects how you'll act, which affects how she will think about you, which affects the whole relationship dynamic. So that's why it's good to keep some perspective and try not to let your mind be tricked into thinking she's much more amazing than she really is. She can still amazing, but just without having all that power over you.
Anyway, it's probably not good to think about things like this too much. It's just something to remember in the back of your mind.
{If you start analysing social situations too much, you might start seeing people as robots to be manipulated, which is just an awful way to look at things}.
But, it's also good to know.
Good luck, and sorry for the chapter-long response. I've gotta learn how to edit better...
*And again, don't take this too seriously. People give advice on how to get girls based on what works for them. But you've got your own personality with your own strengths. So use your personal strengths and assets (sense of humour etc) to your advantage and figure out what works.