I have a hard time making friends

Ever since I was freshman in high school (I'm a senior now) I have had a difficult time hanging out with people after school. In school, I'm fine; I talk to people, be myself (so please don't give me that advice)and act friendly. I have several times met with people after school, but I don't feel like I "connect" with them.
I don't know if I am choosing the wrong friends or what, but for example one night I watched a movie with some other kids and I felt as if they didn't care if I was there or not. Maybe it's just me being picky? Am I supposed to give it more time to connect with them more?
I also get this feeling that everyone I would like to be friends with already has all the friends they need, and if they were to never see me again they wouldn't really care.
I'm not really asking if this is normal, maybe if anyone has some advice they could give me.

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83% Normal
Based on 47 votes (39 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • pinkbutterfly

    No trust me I am totally like that now. I have sort of learnt my lesson, you could say. In the past I have chosen the complete wrong friends, they were horrible to me and actually called me bad names just because I was physically stronger than them and I was able to do a lot more physically stuff than them so apparently I was a 'manbeast', great friends huh?
    Anyways your real friends should at least knowledge that you are there and include you in conversations and like invite you to go hang out basically stuff like that.
    You can be my friend though:)

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  • Mando

    High school can be brutal and cliquish. If you are breaking into a group it could take time to be accepted, or maybe you'll remain on the outskirts. Advice?

    Activities I think are important because they give structure. Then you are actually doing things together - dances, hiking, biking, concerts, sport, whatever your common interest. Try initiating things and doing the organizing. There's usually a lack of positive leadership. People will self select. Build your relationships around these people. Hanging out sometimes is OK but not the greatest and its hard to overcome the cliques.

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  • Antir0b0t

    This happened to me when I was in high school. (Out for a year, praise spaghetti-monster) And I got it the worst my senior year. I basically began to mature and realize how much I despised my peers for being freaking idiots. The "outcasts/nerds" were the best kids to be around. They talked about interesting things, and I was scorned by my popular and shallow peers for doing so. I talked to everyone and didn't care who was prettier. I had a hard time making real friends because, by senior year everybody else usually has their best friends. Especially in a small town where we all grew up together. My two best friends moved away my soph year so I was boned.

    Anyways, it happens to a lot of people. Mainly because high school is fucking lame. But not everyone has bad experiences. If you don't feel any amount of connection with someone, even after the first hang out, go try a different person. You want to make friends with people who will appreciate you as a friend and have a connection with. Not everyone out there is an asshole. Just takes some time to sort through them.

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  • thoughtfulopt28

    Damn the same thing happened to me and i talked to my friend on the other side of the country and its happened to him to i guess its a part of high school and figuring who you are. i would reccomend join sports or something to get you out there. i cant because ihave a medical thing where i cant play contact sports

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  • Yeah r u

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  • raider123_

    if you are not funny dont try. also you gotta hang out outside of school. also it takes time to really be friends with someone. also if you got no style then you might not connect with people. music is a great thing. i listen to alot of underground metal and the people in the know really respect that, so we make a connection.

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  • pinkbutterfly

    Sorry forgot to add the advice part..
    Just try to find the right friends and always trust your first instinct when you meet new friends. Sorry it sucks but I hope it helps:)

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