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I hate myself because, I have neurofibromatosis, which can be life threatening, because it's cause tumours (any size any where) to grow on nerve endings. It has other complications, of which I have scoliosis (curvature of the spinal cord), an optic glioma (tumour on the optical nerve), high blood pressure. People don't realise what I have. Is it normal?
I personally find you brave to suffer through this disease. I'm not religious so I'm not going to say having a genetic disease is a "test" or some shit like that. Life just doles out sucky genes sometimes.
I hope that you can see some light of your situation..humor does wonders for lightening self-hatred. And if that doesn't work, may be try some therapy so you can have someone to talk to that can give you some pointers of how to cope?
I don't think most people would realize what you had if its internal tumors..but really, would you want them to? They may just pity you and being killed with pity can drive some people up a wall. I'm not sure. Maybe it would make you feel better? Its your call whether to let them know about your disease.
You are not alone I have NF1 too. I went on chemos when I was about 8 and this obviously made me weaker than the other kids and I also struggled a lot with learning, so I really lost all my self-esteem already at that age. My parents never really told me what was wrong with me. I found by my own and lost even more self-esteem.
Tokay I am living a pretty normal life and apart from severly distorted vision, I am fine. I usually don't talk about this and not even my closest friends know about this. I too hate myself for having this condition, but I try not to think about it too much.
Stay strong m8!
Don't hate yourself!
Take each day as it comes!
I've heard of people with what you've got having surgery for each tumour as it comes, and they have periods of being fine between them.
Stay in charge of your own health, look up how best to live with it.
Find out what vitamins and minerals can help you, what complications can occur and how to avoid them.
Sure, some things are unavoidable, but if you've tried your best, you can't have any regrets!
I know it's hard to hear this, but you can still live life to the full!
When my brother found he could be chronically ill all his life, he started planning out his time and energy, and made sure he ate things that didn't make him feel worse.
He still goes to parties! Just not all the time. He still goes out to fun places! Just probably once or twice a month. He still talks to people and cares about them!
I am sorry if this is not helpful, or offensive.
I hope things get better for you :)
Take care!
Just because youve seen worse doesn't mean you have to yell at them for being scared. Being scared of possible death is a normal and natural part of life, and they don't need you to tell them you've seen worse, there's always worse, but either way it's scary. Hang in there OP! Be strong.