I hate my father. is it bad i don’t consider him my father anymore?

I used to look up to my father growing up, and could look through his drug addiction, domestic Violence against my mom and Neglect of me, and see his talents(especially when he was sober). I used to watch him shooting up w/ needles when i was little. And even though we lived in the same house, I just wanted him to be there for me growing up.. From the time I was old enough to understand what was really happening, I have given him endless chances to change .. now i’m 17 about to be 18, he’s homeless now doing heroine somewhere behind a dumpster, only time he comes around is when he needs money. Not to mention hes a complete whacko, saw him the other day and his jaw was hanging off his face off that MOLLY. Am I in the wrong disowning him as my father? He's such a soul draining person, i just hate his presence. he also has overdosed and died twice this past month 😒

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  • It's entirely up to you. My parents have done things that most would consider unforgivable but I still keep them in my life, at arms length. But that's my own personal choice. I decided that I gained little from cutting them out completely and although I have more stress to deal due to having contact with them it's worth it to me because I can introduce my children to them. That way my children know who their grandparents are, even if they are a let down. But that's just me, everyone's motivations will be different. Also my parents are on a different continent so they can't really do much damage other than via phone/email.

    It's really just a question of whether or not you want to. Do some soul searching and try and imagine your future and big life events without him around - is it good or bad? A bit of both?

    No one has the right to judge you for whatever choice you make, just make sure it's what you feel is right for you.

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  • The way I see it the best way is to confront him and talk him out his addiction.... usually people are addicted for a reason. If you really care about him force him to get help

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    • If you've worked out a way to force addicts to get help, please share how you do this ..... of course you can't, that's bullshit.

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      • Societal validation of their issues and support...then of course pressure to get rehabilitation.... heroin addiction is a death sentence

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  • I'm amazed that the majority vote so far is for OP to pray his father will change .... really? Like prayer changes other people ... NOT.

    OP, I suggest you find a 12 step group for yourself: Al-Anon is for people involved with alcoholics and in some cases, other addicts or they may be able to refer you to a support group for adult children of addicts. You can't change your father, not by prayer or any other means, unless he wants to change, but you can change your response to this bad situation.

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    • Well he really won’t change, He’s never been there for me but somehow has been in my life.. because we live in the same city. But he won’t do shit to change, he’d rather have no responsibility and be a bum all day so my best bet is to try counseling.. everytime he comes around i have no idea how to handle my emotions. Thank you for the advice ❤️

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  • Send him to rehab or something.

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  • They have something called Kratom that you can order off the internet! Its for people that are addicted to opiates. Its a tea that you drink that takes away all withdrawals. It got me off opiates. Give him some Kratom and try to see if he will start taking it and not heroine. A lot of times heroine addicts feel they cant quit because they get so sick.

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