i hate my boyfriend sometimes but i love him too much to leave
my boyfriend and i have been "together" for almost 3 and a half years. we are both 21 and have both lived in MI all our lives. at the beginning of this school year he went off to school in VA. this has really sucked but hasnt been as bad as i thought it would be. i see him once every 1 and a half months which is pretty good. throughout our whole relationship weve broken up several times and tried other people but it obviously never worked. we could never keep our minds off of each other. hes really critical and judgmental and im so not. we disagree about almost everything. he has broken my heart into a thousand pieces and i have done the same to him. and we always try to leave each other thinking, you know, this will just never work, but that never lasts more than a week. we also try to say to each other that we are going to just go with the flow. we love each other and thats all that matters. but that never works either. our differences are always getting in the way it seems. but at the same time when we are together i feel like the happiest girl in the word. i could fly. he can make me feel so great about myself. he would do anything for me and i know it. we build each other up and make each other better people. which i know is very important in a relationship but i think the real problem is that sometimes with some things we both struggle with sacrificing for each other. i feel like hes so selfish sometimes. he can never be wrong. and when he is he doesnt admit it. ahh idk im just rambling and contradicting myself. but thats how our relationship is. just back and forth all the time. i just never know whats right. i love this kid with all of my heart and i know it. and i know that he loves me just the same. we have been through a lot together and we arent two stupid kids that just dont know what we want. we both want to get married but it just sucks cause every time we fix everything and everything is perfect a few days will go by and he will say something that really pisses me off. i think that my problem is that i dont ever tell anyone about my feelings. i keep everything inside. i feel awkward talking to anyone about how i feel except with my boyfriend but most of the time my feelings are about him so he cant be the only one i talk to. soo because i keep everything bottled up, sometimes when he says things i just want to(and sometimes do) just explode on him. and i feel like im messing everything up between us. the main reason i am even writing this is because i need to let some of this out and i know that someone will read it. it just makes me feel better that someone knows how i feel. so if anyone does read this then i guess all i have to say is thank you for taking the time. i really appreciate it, let me know what you think.