I hate hanging out with my friends

I don’t know why I just don’t want to have anything to do with them. I mean I want to have close friends but there’s a lot about me that I think would push them away and I don’t want them to leave me. Already it seems my family has taken steps back from me because of things I’m doing but it’s hard to stop. I can’t stand hanging out with my friends because I’m afraid they are going to discover who I really am. So to me it seems best to keep them at a distance so that way, I can keep them as friends but we won’t be close so they won’t abandon me. I see a few of them twice a week but that’s it and the rest I’ll text once a month. Is this normal?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 9 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • I get it. Sometimes when I meet people I wonder how long it will be before they decide they hate me. Ask yourself this though: Would you prefer friends who are friends with the real you or people who think they're friends with some act? You should be yourself. If your answer was actually that you _would_ in fact prefer people who think they're friends with an act you've concocted, then it sounds like you have some self-esteem issues you need to work on.

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  • I would classify these people as "acquaintances" and not "friends."

    You would feel differently about friends... (most of the time anyway - we all have our bad spells in relationships).

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    • Yes! I agree, I think OP should reconsider their definition of "friend."

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  • Those are acquitances, not friends.
    You need to work on your confidence or your insecurity alone will push people away because it will make you clingy plus no one wants to have to constantly reassure someone. You also need to find likeminded friends whom you know won't judge you negatively. I've always been sort of the same way but instead just withdrawn from all people not even making acquitances. It took me to come across likeminded people to make some real friends, other loners with sort of the same problem and who felt they could be themselves with me like I feel I can be with them. Look for different people than you usually talk to, or look for someone in your group of acquitances that you find relatable and try to strengthen that bond by suggesting you hang out one on one and maybe find some shared activity you can do like exercising or whatever. Hopefully there's some person you know that you could truly befriend otherwise you simply choose your acquitances poorly.

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  • Seems like you are the type of person to push people away, or you just simply don't like them

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  • Ahh, the old push and pull. Some people are just like this and unfortunately that includes us. We have to try and break through the thoughts that get us to this place.

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