we still, as a culture, suffer from the Virgin/Whore dichotomy - and THAT's what kicking you in teeth [metaphorically]. we all of us, even womanly me who's had sex with as many people as i've had birthdays, fall into it sometimes - and i know better on EVERY level.
it's like cannibalism - we just KNOW it's wrong [why? it would feed masses that are starving if we shipped them our dead - no need to even create MORE dead, just the ones who die already...] we KNOW that a woman who LIKES sex is a "whore", and that *being* a "whore" is somehow degrading, devaluating... dehumanizing.
and again, the question is "why?" it comes down to "Virginity"
"Virginity" is our stand-in for purity, and goodness, and WORTH. it's a STUPID stand-in [i mean, i was one of those 2% or so who was born sans hymen - was i EVER a virgin if i wasn't "sealed for freshness"? what PURPOSE does a hymen serve, anyway? why is THAT the indicator of Virginity, when something like ballet or horseback riding can break a hymen *more easily* than sex? when just TIME will wear it away?]
why do i mention all this?
did you ever watch the movie "Chasing Amy"? remember the scene where the guy was trying to convince Amy that she MUST be a virgin if she'd ONLY had sex with women?
lesbianism is [generally] not considered a threat to "virginity" - only PIV [penis in vagina] intercourse is considered "real sex" by a LARGE portion of the populace. if no penis has entered that vagina, it is still "pure", no matter what ELSE has entered.
this, i think, is why you're "comfortable" with the idea of women having sex with other women - they're still "pure" after it.
you have, to some extent, tried to place half the human race on a pedastal - elavating women "above" the "base" desires of men.
the question [and response] about your negative attitude towards men has been asked, but i think part of your problem [beyond the fact that you don't see that ANYONE can be beautiful - the human body is a marvel] is that, in your head, men are automatically "not pure". in addition to what you've said above, i think some of it is society's attitude towards MEN and sex - the idea that men are *so* freaking ruled by sex that they have NO control over themselves, *clutches pearls* heavens, if they see an ankle, expect a large reaction!
that is 100% BS. SOME men REFUSE to control themselves, thereby giving ALL men a bad name. some men ARE whores, in the sense that they'll poke anything that lets them. [some women are, too - but i don't think that's necessarily a BAD thing].
and so you've set up the Virgin/Whore dichotomy in your mind [sub-consiously] as "Female/Male" instead of "Virgin/Whore". for a lot of reasons, i'm sure - these things are ALWAYS much more complicated than one thinks - and that could be another place to attack your issue - reclaiming YOUR male sexuality as something *good*.
I Hate Female Sexuality
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we still, as a culture, suffer from the Virgin/Whore dichotomy - and THAT's what kicking you in teeth [metaphorically]. we all of us, even womanly me who's had sex with as many people as i've had birthdays, fall into it sometimes - and i know better on EVERY level.
it's like cannibalism - we just KNOW it's wrong [why? it would feed masses that are starving if we shipped them our dead - no need to even create MORE dead, just the ones who die already...] we KNOW that a woman who LIKES sex is a "whore", and that *being* a "whore" is somehow degrading, devaluating... dehumanizing.
and again, the question is "why?" it comes down to "Virginity"
"Virginity" is our stand-in for purity, and goodness, and WORTH. it's a STUPID stand-in [i mean, i was one of those 2% or so who was born sans hymen - was i EVER a virgin if i wasn't "sealed for freshness"? what PURPOSE does a hymen serve, anyway? why is THAT the indicator of Virginity, when something like ballet or horseback riding can break a hymen *more easily* than sex? when just TIME will wear it away?]
why do i mention all this?
did you ever watch the movie "Chasing Amy"? remember the scene where the guy was trying to convince Amy that she MUST be a virgin if she'd ONLY had sex with women?
lesbianism is [generally] not considered a threat to "virginity" - only PIV [penis in vagina] intercourse is considered "real sex" by a LARGE portion of the populace. if no penis has entered that vagina, it is still "pure", no matter what ELSE has entered.
this, i think, is why you're "comfortable" with the idea of women having sex with other women - they're still "pure" after it.
you have, to some extent, tried to place half the human race on a pedastal - elavating women "above" the "base" desires of men.
the question [and response] about your negative attitude towards men has been asked, but i think part of your problem [beyond the fact that you don't see that ANYONE can be beautiful - the human body is a marvel] is that, in your head, men are automatically "not pure". in addition to what you've said above, i think some of it is society's attitude towards MEN and sex - the idea that men are *so* freaking ruled by sex that they have NO control over themselves, *clutches pearls* heavens, if they see an ankle, expect a large reaction!
that is 100% BS. SOME men REFUSE to control themselves, thereby giving ALL men a bad name. some men ARE whores, in the sense that they'll poke anything that lets them. [some women are, too - but i don't think that's necessarily a BAD thing].
and so you've set up the Virgin/Whore dichotomy in your mind [sub-consiously] as "Female/Male" instead of "Virgin/Whore". for a lot of reasons, i'm sure - these things are ALWAYS much more complicated than one thinks - and that could be another place to attack your issue - reclaiming YOUR male sexuality as something *good*.
i wish you luck and send GoodThoughts your way!