I had a relationship with a guy that slept with more than 80 woman

39% Normal

I started dating a guy that I thought was absolutely awesome. I thought he was really cute, funny, wealthy, he had a nice house with a romantic bedroom. He was adventurous with so many interests, and he had the coolest boat that we made love in a few times. Every time we went out I had the greatest time and felt so fulfilled.

He also loved to be naked. I don't think I've been with a guy that was so confident with his body and he always wanted me to be naked. Every time I started to put my clothes on he would take them off, which I thought was cute. I was always thinking about him when he wasn't around and I was going to ask him to start a serious relationship. One morning we were laying in bed and I told him I wanted to know how many women he has slept with. He said kind of a lot. I wasn't surprised but wanted a number. He said more than 50. I was like WHAT!!! I thought maybe 30 or so. He said I've slept with about 80 in the last 5 years....I almost passed out. I asked why so many different girls. Why don't you just pick one. He said he just liked to see and be with beautiful women naked. I thought I can't go out with a guy like that. I told him I wanted to be alone and go home. I didn't talk to him for 5 days then decided to give him a text. We went out two more times but it wasn't the same. I could never fall in love with a guy like that....I got checked for STD's and everything is fine. I breathed a sigh of relief.

So my question is it normal for a guy to sleep with so many women. And what has been your experiences with big time players? I think I've become a player hater.

Voting Results

39% Normal

Based on 341 votes (133 yes)

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Comments ( 23 )

GoraIntoDesiGals

11 years ago | pl

If you only go for tall-dark-handsome like every girl in town then why be surprised that those men get so many girls? It's supply and demand. Take me for example, I got only 2 gf in 12 years with long periods of forced abstinence and I'm sure you would not give me a second look either.

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- dude_Jones
  
  11 years ago
  
  I like this answer.
  
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Darkoil

11 years ago

If they were all one night stands then 80 isn't that high. That would equate to about 1 shag every 3 weeks which if he lived in the centre of a busy university city would be quite pathetic if he was actually going out multiple times a week trying to get laid.

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- Sog
  
  11 years ago
  
  Once every three weeks is quite a realistic number actually. Any guy that claims he can get sex from a stranger any night and every night he wants it is a liar.
  
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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress

11 years ago

So you asked him about the previous women - and when he said "a lot" you pressed him for an actual number.... and he gave you the truth.

Of course you don't have to date him if you don't want. However, he shouldn't be blamed for not telling you this... after all, this is something you could have asked before making love to him.

In fact, getting checked for STDs is something you should do on a regular basis if you're sexually active with new people. Not just when your partner agrees to answer your questions about his past.

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slightly-wired

11 years ago

I counted one time and honestly lost track at about 90, now mind you most were in the 80's and early 90's. Since the aids thing I slowed down immensely. I am now engaged to a beautiful 40 year old women who I love and plan on spending the rest of my life with so anythings possible. And yes she knows I've slept with ALOT of women.

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tacotuesday

11 years ago

Hey I dont think hes all tht bad, Im 20 and a female and I have slept with about the same number. Most of them being one night stands tho. I certainly dont just sleep with anyone whos keen. Ive got standards but I have just never found the right man to stay with im too picky but god damn I would hate it when the time.comes and I do find the right one to stay with that he would blow up at me about this because he should feel special that he is obviouly the only man that I thought was worth my time. And of coarse I would be faithful too him, trrat him well and love him dearly. so just saying mayb youve thrown away a decent guy. Just something to think about through a differnt perspective :)

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- Atussa
  
  8 years ago
  
  Hi sorry for the presumption but the things you've written really resonate with what ive felt before and i wanna say I'm here if u need an impartial ear and that the more you talk about the pain when it hits, be it to the samaritans(who r 24/7,confidential and saved my life) or imalive(dot)org, Crisischat both of which u can textchat online, the more the pain and anxiety lessens. You can move past this but you don't have to fight alone, lean on others and the stronger and happier you become. I'm here, keep talking you can beat this
  
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Nickyd

11 years ago

If they were all night stands then you should be 'chuffed' that he saw you again and again really. But did he contact you after you walked out when he told you about the 80?

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Alfie

11 years ago

It mean he must be a good fuck.

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scumfuck

11 years ago

you ask a question he tells you the truth and you don't like it get over yourself

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LilLadyxxx

11 years ago

Look, man, you gotta figure out if he loves you and will not cheat. If he does love you and only wants to be with you, then why judge his past? It is gone and he cannot erase it, since time has done so already. If you love each other, then find it in yourself to love yourself and get over his past trysts.

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quentari

11 years ago

If they were all one night stands and not him cheating on other partners then what's the issue?? 80 instances of sex with randoms in a 'no strings attached' kind of way doesn't make him a player, it makes him have every guys fantasy. Many women.

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fullhouse

11 years ago

Atleast he was honest about it! You are the idiot who thunks 30 something is ok but 50 is not. What matter's is if he is serious about you and if he treats you the way you deserve. Past is past in my op.

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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

Ah..but who's counting? lmao

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Sailor_Cosmos

11 years ago

No it is not normal. I mean men statistically have more partners than women over their lifetime but 80? Either he is lying (which is possible, just to look like a lady killer) or he has a sex addiction. I bet you if he did sleep with that many women most of them were hookers or strippers. Unless he is Rico Suave, there is no chance in hell he was able bed that many women based on his charm and good looks alone. And believe me very few men possess the power to have any woman they want on their own merits (this means without using money in any way).

Or he is insecure and needs validation from women. maybe he had a shitty relationship with his mom. I find guys with Mommy issues exhibit this behaviour.

Anyway, I dont blame you for not wanting to date a guy who claims to have that kind of history. Some people are just not comfortable with a promiscuous partner.

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- dude_Jones
  
  11 years ago
  
  I strongly disagree with this. This guy is simply what most women think of as an ideal mate. His promiscuity is his own life style choice. He probably has social skills that are much higher than average. He is very likable; nothing seems wrong with him.
  
  When you find the perfect guy, don't be surprised that he has had 80 previous partners. Simply put, it is sexual economics - the price you pay for perfection.
  
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  - Sailor_Cosmos
    
    11 years ago
    
    LMAO
    
    The perfect guy in the eyes of most women is not the one who has slept with the most women. The perfect man is someone who has standards and doesn't stick it in everything that walks.Sadly, men like this are few and far between. I mean I'd rather a guy who was picky about who he has sex with than one who isn't. It would make me feel special. And if you've has that many partners how picky can you really be?
    
    I mean if he did sleep with 80 women it doesnt mean they were all super models... it also doesnt mean he has charm or charisma or anything...like I said it could have been 80 hookers or strippers...its possible and thats something you cant deny. It also doesnt mean that its true either. I do';t know why men feel that women will be impressed by the number of women they have slept with. Most of us will have the same reaction as the girl who posted this topic. Its the same most men have towards girls who have slept around.
    
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    - dude_Jones
      
      11 years ago
      
      Yes, perfect men are few and far between. And, I sense you would not settle for anything less. But, there are 80 women who *did* settle for something less including the OP.
      
      Hommes laids avec les principes sont dégoûtantes parce qu'ils sont laids.
      
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      - Sailor_Cosmos
        
        11 years ago
        
        Again you are failing to address my points.
        
        Were these supposed 80 women actually attractive women? Where they hookers? Or is he lying. You dont know and you cannot sit there and assume that 80 women just dropped their pants for this guy because he was just that great...thats silly. Fact is when you know as many men as I have and still do you learn that the guys who claim these high numbers are either
        
        1.) Lying
        2.) Have money and are able to pay for it either directly or indirectly
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        3.) Purposely lower their standards and sleep with less attractive women who are not used to loads of male attention. I have one friend named Nick who is a complete whore and has a very hedonistic lifestyle. However most of the girls he sleeps with who are not pros, are really nothing special at all. His explanation is that in order to have that kind of fun you have to lower your standards. Really attractive beautiful women are much more difficult to bed down since they can have anyone they want and tend to be picky. Less attractive women (according to him) who are not used to male attention are far more likely to go to bed with you since they really dont have as many options.
        
        VERY RARELY is a man that charming and handsome that he can bed down 80 beautiful women with out paying for it in some kind of way.
        
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        dude_Jones
        
        11 years ago
        
        Option Number 3 (promiscuity) is what this post is about. I have not addressed your perceived standards comment because:
        
        a) Not all women have vivacious beauty and charm like you do. You could bang Tom Cruise. Very few other women could do that.
        
        b) It is not empirical, meaning it doesn't leave open for measurement the distribution of desirability of people in general. (Some people have facial scars).
        
        c) The OP has learned her lesson.
        
        You may have the last word of this thread.
        
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slightly-wired

11 years ago

Oh and by the way not one single time did I ever pay for sex, and yes a few were over weight but most were above average in looks.

Alot of women are dirty little whores down deep.

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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

Je peux sentir ta chatte!

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Are You Normal?

I had a relationship with a guy that slept with more than 80 woman