Unfortunately, this is all to common. It is the extremely rare woman who is willing to give up their cat for a man; and many are not understanding of severe allergies and minimize in their mind how significant the issue is for anyone who has more than a very minor allergy to cats.
I too am severely allergic to cats and understand exactly your situation. Sustained exposure to cats beyond a few minutes could kill me. Even a few minutes exposure often affects me badly for days. I often react to cat dander on clothing as well.
What most people do not understand is that there are no medications for severe allergies that are safe to take for more than a few days - and those medications have significant and dangerous side effects.
I'm going to warn you that you have an uphill battle as my personal (and very painful) experience is most women with cats do not understand how significant these kinds of allergies can be; and lie about having cats even if you ask them up front on the phone/Skype/etc.
I know this as I listed that I had extreme allergies to cats in all of my dating profiles on the many dating sites I used over about 15 years.
I also then asked during our initial conversation if they had cats as I was highly allergic to them. Yet about half of the people I met in person had cats - and I very often would start to react to the cat dander on their clothing... too which their common response was... I didn't know that you were that allergic cats, or my cat. Sometimes they would say that they had an "allergen free" cat - which is a reduced allergen cat and not allergen free cat in actuality; and they were totally stunned at my allergic reactions. I do tell them I asked if they had cats... not if they had an "allergen free" cat.
I even had an ER Nurse pull the "allergen free" cat trick on me by inviting me to her house for Thanksgiving with her family, hiding the cat, and I reacted so badly within a few minutes that I almost ended up in the emergency room (and it was days to recover).
I wish you well with this... and encourage you to be explicit and upfront. Dating you is contingent on cat free - and even potentially cleaning their apartment or house with "anti-allergen" cleaners if their was a cat in it in the last decade (it usually takes about 10 years for cat dander to fade away).
Drop anyone like a rock who lies to you...
You will find some ladies who understand allergies and are willing to do what it takes if you are a decent gentleman.
I note that it is possible to find a Lady who is willing to use "anti-allergen" laundry detergent on her cloths and ultimately give up her cat if you are the right guy... My wife did that (and we cleaned virtually all of her belongings with "anti-allergen" cleaners when she moved into my house.
Thanks for the best, most spot on post in this entire thread. True words of wisdom!
I am actually flabbergasted that the poll is currently at 50% (4y/4n). People are truly underestimating the severity of fatal allergies and to top if off it seems like a lot of people think it’s “normal” to choose a pet over a loved one. Relationships are all about caring for each other and we are better off without people who can’t even respect our fatal allergies. It seems like some people are naive, others are self centered and some are clueless.
Only people like you and me know the true extent of our allergies.
I long ago got over how many woman would lie about having a cat... or living with someone who had a cat. Just know that a lot of them will lie about it.
Anyway... the causal date ends instantly when I reacted to cat and they admitted they had lied to me about having one or living with one.
If someone tells me that they lived with someone with a cat; then I tell them that they have to wear fresh laundered clothing when we meet - and that always worked. If it moved far enough along for overnights and trips I could either provide them with the special allergen laundry detergent or they provided clothing for me to wash for them (and keep at my house).
Most ladies do not have cats... and any decent one will work with you on the allergen issue if they live with someone who does (their apartment or house is off limits for you), or if a previous apartment or house resident had a cat and the carpets, furniture, walls, etc. need cleaning with "anti-allergen" cleaners (I provided those cleaners and I split the cost of a carpet cleaning once).
Be sure to carry Albuteral, an epi-pen, and prednisone in your car and luggage for emergencies. I've never used the epi-pen... but I have used everything else, multiple times.
Go fourth and find a decent GF and other friends....
I got dumped… for a cat
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Unfortunately, this is all to common. It is the extremely rare woman who is willing to give up their cat for a man; and many are not understanding of severe allergies and minimize in their mind how significant the issue is for anyone who has more than a very minor allergy to cats.
I too am severely allergic to cats and understand exactly your situation. Sustained exposure to cats beyond a few minutes could kill me. Even a few minutes exposure often affects me badly for days. I often react to cat dander on clothing as well.
What most people do not understand is that there are no medications for severe allergies that are safe to take for more than a few days - and those medications have significant and dangerous side effects.
I'm going to warn you that you have an uphill battle as my personal (and very painful) experience is most women with cats do not understand how significant these kinds of allergies can be; and lie about having cats even if you ask them up front on the phone/Skype/etc.
I know this as I listed that I had extreme allergies to cats in all of my dating profiles on the many dating sites I used over about 15 years.
I also then asked during our initial conversation if they had cats as I was highly allergic to them. Yet about half of the people I met in person had cats - and I very often would start to react to the cat dander on their clothing... too which their common response was... I didn't know that you were that allergic cats, or my cat. Sometimes they would say that they had an "allergen free" cat - which is a reduced allergen cat and not allergen free cat in actuality; and they were totally stunned at my allergic reactions. I do tell them I asked if they had cats... not if they had an "allergen free" cat.
I even had an ER Nurse pull the "allergen free" cat trick on me by inviting me to her house for Thanksgiving with her family, hiding the cat, and I reacted so badly within a few minutes that I almost ended up in the emergency room (and it was days to recover).
I wish you well with this... and encourage you to be explicit and upfront. Dating you is contingent on cat free - and even potentially cleaning their apartment or house with "anti-allergen" cleaners if their was a cat in it in the last decade (it usually takes about 10 years for cat dander to fade away).
Drop anyone like a rock who lies to you...
You will find some ladies who understand allergies and are willing to do what it takes if you are a decent gentleman.
I note that it is possible to find a Lady who is willing to use "anti-allergen" laundry detergent on her cloths and ultimately give up her cat if you are the right guy... My wife did that (and we cleaned virtually all of her belongings with "anti-allergen" cleaners when she moved into my house.
I wish you well with this,
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Grunewald
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Thanks for the best, most spot on post in this entire thread. True words of wisdom!
I am actually flabbergasted that the poll is currently at 50% (4y/4n). People are truly underestimating the severity of fatal allergies and to top if off it seems like a lot of people think it’s “normal” to choose a pet over a loved one. Relationships are all about caring for each other and we are better off without people who can’t even respect our fatal allergies. It seems like some people are naive, others are self centered and some are clueless.
Only people like you and me know the true extent of our allergies.
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olderdude-xx
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Your welcome.
I long ago got over how many woman would lie about having a cat... or living with someone who had a cat. Just know that a lot of them will lie about it.
Anyway... the causal date ends instantly when I reacted to cat and they admitted they had lied to me about having one or living with one.
If someone tells me that they lived with someone with a cat; then I tell them that they have to wear fresh laundered clothing when we meet - and that always worked. If it moved far enough along for overnights and trips I could either provide them with the special allergen laundry detergent or they provided clothing for me to wash for them (and keep at my house).
Most ladies do not have cats... and any decent one will work with you on the allergen issue if they live with someone who does (their apartment or house is off limits for you), or if a previous apartment or house resident had a cat and the carpets, furniture, walls, etc. need cleaning with "anti-allergen" cleaners (I provided those cleaners and I split the cost of a carpet cleaning once).
Be sure to carry Albuteral, an epi-pen, and prednisone in your car and luggage for emergencies. I've never used the epi-pen... but I have used everything else, multiple times.
Go fourth and find a decent GF and other friends....
This.