I got a kitty

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    2 years ago | pl

    benito meowssolini

    kitti amin

    napurrloeon

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    • CountessDouche
      2 years ago | pl

      I legit call goobler, joe goebbels as a joke sometimes (not in mixed company OF COURSE) because she's black and retarded and she'd be gassed super fast, but she also has a superiority complex against toy mice & wants to exterminate them all

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      • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
        2 years ago | pl

        rudolf hiss

        also i always wanted a turkey i could name josef gobbles

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        • CountessDouche
          2 years ago | pl

          Joe gobbles is now my favorite turkey name. You've suddenly awakened my need for a pet turkey with a hideously offensive name.

          Well I'm off to the turkey store...or no, the woods...there's free turkeys in there, I'm sure of it. I like a discount.

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          • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
            2 years ago | pl

            i was away for a few months last summer and came home in september

            when i got home it was clear that my yard had become a wild turkey haven

            there was feathers everywhere theyd show up struttin outta the woods 10x a day and you couldnt have a daynap in the deckchair from all the gobblin in the woods

            thank goodness the dingo put a quick end to that

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            • CountessDouche
              2 years ago | pl

              I have the best wild turkey story.

              I very briefly lived on southern illinois, relatively woodsy-ish & I constantly saw wild turkeys while hiking. They talk to you when you gobble hahaha.

              Anyways, I looked them up online because I saw them all the time, and I learned dumb turkey factoids, one of which is that male turkeys apparently dig huge holes to impress the ladies. Hunters have fallen in turkey holes & had to await rescue...apparently this is a thing.

              So I told my elderly father about this as a cute anecdote. I was like dad, man turkeys dig holes. Nope, he was having none of it. Didn't believe a word of it.

              So I told my own dad
              A religious man
              A Republican
              I told my own dad

              no, it's true dad. JUST GOOGLE "TURKEY HOLES"

              And he did

              My dad googled "turkey hole"

              And you know the end of that story

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