I gained 10 pounds eating a 5 pound jar of mayonnaise

Mayonnaise is a caloricly dense food ingesting it would cause you body to expand its fat cells and fat cells aren't just fat it's also tissue and extra blood that needs to circulate to prevent necrosis. Also some of it's probably water weight.

Ewwww

its because water will grab onto fat

Unbelievable now that explains my recent weight gain as well, because I heard from a Keto-Diet specialist that one should eat a whole jar of unprocessed Mayo at least once a week. What an asshole...

Disgusting! Who eats mayonnaise by itself!? I get using it in a salad topping, but eating whole jars of the stuff... nasty!

Wait a few hours. You'll lose it at your next BM. And make sure you can get to a bathroom. You font want to be in a crowded movie theater when the inevitable uncontrollable squirts start.

YUCK... Now when guys tell you they like that "fat ass", I think you not understand what they mean.

Put the dam mayonnaise down ffs

well looks like they lied to their consumers, id settle for a lawsuit