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I am very nice to everyone, I always have a huge smile and laugh at whatever they say. I even flirt with them. Anyone and everyone !! However I dont have many friends.. Becuase Im very shy. I dont know what to talk about and mostly whatever they say is uninteresting... So they stop talking to me becuase its hard for me to find something we both are interested in or mostly they become annoying and bug me.
So you want everyone you meet to totally fall for your charms and love you but then you loose interest in them and feel no need to reciprocate any true feelings of friendship or connection?
I can really relate to that first part but the only time I've felt the latter part was in the lowest parts of my depression.
i have many many goals and shit, its overwhelming, im in college now, and i think i realise i do it beacuase i want other people to feel good and boost their esteem as well as my own, but now im stressed at skool that i dont give a fuck anymore and i tell them to piss off assholes
I think that flirting is a largely insecure thing. Flirting makes you feel good; the person with whom you flirt with reacts well and takes an interest in you. You feel great, terrific even, so this boosts your self esteem. But only for a while. So this boost is shallow and superficial. On some level, you realise this and thats why you pull back from social situations. It starts getting you into trouble when people realise you don't have a genuine interest in them.
But alas, there is hope...
Realise that that's what it is. Be aware. Realise that when you do it, it's a shallow and temporary boost. That's a start.
However, you are better working on lasting self esteem. You mentioned not having anything to talk about. Start looking at what interests you. Find a passion. Set some goals. Start achieving. You can do it; everyone can. Start thinking of yourself more and how you can make things better for you, regardless of how other people fit into that equation. When you start doing this, you'll feel better about yourself and will naturally act more responsibily, which will ultimately mean not flirting as much. You'll also find other people interesting because you'll relate to them and their struggle to try and make sense of everything. And those you don't, you'll show empathy because you'll relate to just how damn hard it is to achieve real things (that really do boost your self esteem).
Hope this helps
Exactly, I want almost everyone I meet to be my friend forever. I dont see what the problem of that is. So I have to be, so everyone will like me. Well, I dont think I am flirting thats the thing. But people tell me I do! And then I break there heart, when they thought I like them... And then they never talk to me agian !!!!!! So I get very sad and try to aviod talking to people sometimes. And I cant chill I try to, but I have very bad anxiety when I talk to people. But I do 100x better when its not at school and if its one on one and no one else is around, Idk why that is.
yeah, I know what you mean. but you flirt with people, how does that make you shy?
It helps if you get to know the person better, say something witty or just ask them what thier favourite music is. when i meet new eople i always do that, i always make sure i'm loud and make a alright impression so i don't have to be known as a quiet shy girl. but i know what you mean, it's hard to keep up conversations with boring people, but it's barely you fault they're the boring ones? just let a conversation flow,
it doesn't matter how many friends you have, i have a lot of friends, but only a few really close ones, thats the way to go, it would be difficult to have a lot of friends. just enjoy being the fun, loud funny person that everyone loves, but don't try to hard, people can tell if you try too hard (-;,
xxx