You really don't understand the nature of depression in my opinion. Both meds and therapy have helped me come back to who I am... happy and hopeful. You certainly shouldn't be discouraging someone who says they feel hopeless from getting help. We all need help sometimes and we can't always help ourselves.
Thanks again sillygirl. It seems like the last eight years of my life have gone downhill. Marriage gone, family issues, job loss, like Im having to start over completely in middle age. Im so scared. I feel like Im fighting alone. Thank you so much for your kindness.
That can be so overwhelming even one of those things, but all at once that's really tough. It sounds like depression due to situation, in those cases talk therapy can help a lot. In talk therapy you do a lot of the work, but someone is there to guide you. I think we all need guidance sometimes or a lift up. Especially, when you express you feel scared and like you're fighting alone, it's a good time to find a helping hand. I wish you luck no matter what you decide, but I'd suggest therapy. I know it's been helpful to me. Sometimes one doesn't find the right therapist on the first try, but when one does it can lift some of that weight or load you've been carrying alone. You're very welcome by the way. It's nice to meet you :).
18 years of depression and I don't understand it?
That's quite a statement.
But hey, whatever works for you, right. But the meds and doctors can not make yo change; only you can choose to do it.
Most often the meds only cover up the symptoms; they certainly are not a cure, even you must understand that.
I don't doubt that you'd understand your own depression after 18 years of it, but that doesn't mean you understand anyone else's.
I've had depression off and on for most of my life and have learnt that sometimes I just CAN'T move out of it and need some therapy type help, but never medication as I hate being more lethargic and apathetic than I already am.
It's taken me years to get to a point where I can tell myself "this will pass" because it always has, and to know that I will get so bored with being miserable I'll find some tiny way out of it and then built on that.
I have been very lucky in my life to have found good counsellors at different times when I needed them, and learned a long time ago to avoid the pill pushers and the quick fix therapists.
I wish OP luck in whatever search h/she undertakes to move out of depression, because it's a boring and pointless waste of what I believe is our only life.
You need to give yourself more credit. YOU did what was necessary to control your depression, not your therapists. They may have set you on the path, but they could no more MAKE you change than they could fix you. You are responsible for your successes, just like you would be for your failures.
Also, you understood that the meds were a futile avenue and refused to be seduced by them. Most do not and waste their life in a fog.
I DO give myself credit nearly every day, because sometimes it's still really hard to not let the depression win, and of course when it comes to the crunch I was the one who committed myself to the struggle BUT I don't know if I would've made it without good counselling which provided me with tools to change. Others mightn't be so lucky and I'm not going to judge them, although I must admit people who whine on and on about their lives and do nothing to change do annoy me - sometimes to the point of avoiding them or more often, challenging them to change - sometimes it works, sometimes not.
The problem with this type of medication is that scripts for it are often the only help people are offered, and I don't judge people who trust the "experts" and use them: in some cases they are essential but the other problem is that once on them it's too easy to get hooked and not take any other action to change.
Prozac is the worst thing I've ever taken and it was only for 6 months or so because my gp couldn't continue giving me disability certificates without "treating" me and I couldn't find good affordable counselling at the time. That drug made me so lethargic I couldn't do much to help myself because I couldn't be bothered caring and what's more it destroyed my ability to orgasm without removing the desire for sex ... what sadistic fuckwit invented a so-called anti-depressant with that side effect? Going off it had really bad side effects too, wild euphoria in which I sold my home and spent or gave most of the money away, hence now living in poverty.
I feel for you. I pulled myself out of my depression in May of 2009. I sold off all my investments, which were real estate. I'm not a financial wizard (just a fucking boat captain) and everyone advised investing in real estate; ha! "It's safe." they said! Ha, again.
So I cashed out at 10 cents on the dollar and bought my boat and an annuity. Ouch, but still the best move I could have made, I'm sure. Talk about depressing though!
You are right, of course, not everyone can do it alone. As you have noticed, I'm much more a "I challenge you to do it" or tough love sort of adviser on here. There are plenty of the other kind on IIN and they don't ever consider that perhaps a few may respond positively my challenge, they just spew hate at me for being insensitive and unsympathetic. Well that's life I guess, to be one of the most hated members for being honest and not following the "party line".
However much I am despised, I shall not compromise my opinions just to be liked.
Hey thanks for that gypsysailor and yeah, sometimes I think you're a bit insensitive but also challenging, which I do like. The effective counsellors I've had have been the ones who challenged me, ditto friends, who don't let me get away with any bullshit and support me in exactly that "tough love" sort of way. Sometimes, though, just having a good cry on a friend's shoulder and being patted and told I'm going to be ok is great too!
Are you really hated and despised? You've annoyed me at times but it's clear to me that you are honest and forthright which are valuable qualities in a world of superficial waffle and new age meanderings. Have you noticed that I too have been attacked for writing in a similar vein?
My least favourite piece of crap is the response by many wishy washy beige people that disagreeing with them is abuse, to which my standard response is that I know what verbal abuse is and I do know how to do it, but I choose not to ... unless of course they'd like a demonstration?
Bravo for the last sentence: I don't compromise my opinions either, for which I've often paid a high price, but I just can't do it.
I agree with Ellenna. You can't generalize your experiences with others and many people do benefit from help. Who are you to suggest the OP doesn't try to get it?
I am someone who understands that no doctor can MAKE a patient well. Only the patient can choose to get well. Since 99% of the mental health providers in the US are just pill pushers and don't care half as much about their patients recovery as they do about a steady income, the last suggestion I will make is to suggest professional help first.
If you read my comments on this site, there are some who I suggest should seek therapy, others, not so much.
But absolutely the FIRST place most should start is in their own mind and see if they can effect a change for the best.
Is that so awful?
I feel that I have no hope left
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You really don't understand the nature of depression in my opinion. Both meds and therapy have helped me come back to who I am... happy and hopeful. You certainly shouldn't be discouraging someone who says they feel hopeless from getting help. We all need help sometimes and we can't always help ourselves.
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Fleetline
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thegypsysailor
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Thank-you for your kindness and understanding
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sillygirl77
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*hugs* Fleetline. I hope you can find hope again. It sounds very painful.
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Thanks again sillygirl. It seems like the last eight years of my life have gone downhill. Marriage gone, family issues, job loss, like Im having to start over completely in middle age. Im so scared. I feel like Im fighting alone. Thank you so much for your kindness.
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That can be so overwhelming even one of those things, but all at once that's really tough. It sounds like depression due to situation, in those cases talk therapy can help a lot. In talk therapy you do a lot of the work, but someone is there to guide you. I think we all need guidance sometimes or a lift up. Especially, when you express you feel scared and like you're fighting alone, it's a good time to find a helping hand. I wish you luck no matter what you decide, but I'd suggest therapy. I know it's been helpful to me. Sometimes one doesn't find the right therapist on the first try, but when one does it can lift some of that weight or load you've been carrying alone. You're very welcome by the way. It's nice to meet you :).
18 years of depression and I don't understand it?
That's quite a statement.
But hey, whatever works for you, right. But the meds and doctors can not make yo change; only you can choose to do it.
Most often the meds only cover up the symptoms; they certainly are not a cure, even you must understand that.
--
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I don't doubt that you'd understand your own depression after 18 years of it, but that doesn't mean you understand anyone else's.
I've had depression off and on for most of my life and have learnt that sometimes I just CAN'T move out of it and need some therapy type help, but never medication as I hate being more lethargic and apathetic than I already am.
It's taken me years to get to a point where I can tell myself "this will pass" because it always has, and to know that I will get so bored with being miserable I'll find some tiny way out of it and then built on that.
I have been very lucky in my life to have found good counsellors at different times when I needed them, and learned a long time ago to avoid the pill pushers and the quick fix therapists.
I wish OP luck in whatever search h/she undertakes to move out of depression, because it's a boring and pointless waste of what I believe is our only life.
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You need to give yourself more credit. YOU did what was necessary to control your depression, not your therapists. They may have set you on the path, but they could no more MAKE you change than they could fix you. You are responsible for your successes, just like you would be for your failures.
Also, you understood that the meds were a futile avenue and refused to be seduced by them. Most do not and waste their life in a fog.
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Ellenna
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I DO give myself credit nearly every day, because sometimes it's still really hard to not let the depression win, and of course when it comes to the crunch I was the one who committed myself to the struggle BUT I don't know if I would've made it without good counselling which provided me with tools to change. Others mightn't be so lucky and I'm not going to judge them, although I must admit people who whine on and on about their lives and do nothing to change do annoy me - sometimes to the point of avoiding them or more often, challenging them to change - sometimes it works, sometimes not.
The problem with this type of medication is that scripts for it are often the only help people are offered, and I don't judge people who trust the "experts" and use them: in some cases they are essential but the other problem is that once on them it's too easy to get hooked and not take any other action to change.
Prozac is the worst thing I've ever taken and it was only for 6 months or so because my gp couldn't continue giving me disability certificates without "treating" me and I couldn't find good affordable counselling at the time. That drug made me so lethargic I couldn't do much to help myself because I couldn't be bothered caring and what's more it destroyed my ability to orgasm without removing the desire for sex ... what sadistic fuckwit invented a so-called anti-depressant with that side effect? Going off it had really bad side effects too, wild euphoria in which I sold my home and spent or gave most of the money away, hence now living in poverty.
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I feel for you. I pulled myself out of my depression in May of 2009. I sold off all my investments, which were real estate. I'm not a financial wizard (just a fucking boat captain) and everyone advised investing in real estate; ha! "It's safe." they said! Ha, again.
So I cashed out at 10 cents on the dollar and bought my boat and an annuity. Ouch, but still the best move I could have made, I'm sure. Talk about depressing though!
You are right, of course, not everyone can do it alone. As you have noticed, I'm much more a "I challenge you to do it" or tough love sort of adviser on here. There are plenty of the other kind on IIN and they don't ever consider that perhaps a few may respond positively my challenge, they just spew hate at me for being insensitive and unsympathetic. Well that's life I guess, to be one of the most hated members for being honest and not following the "party line".
However much I am despised, I shall not compromise my opinions just to be liked.
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Hey thanks for that gypsysailor and yeah, sometimes I think you're a bit insensitive but also challenging, which I do like. The effective counsellors I've had have been the ones who challenged me, ditto friends, who don't let me get away with any bullshit and support me in exactly that "tough love" sort of way. Sometimes, though, just having a good cry on a friend's shoulder and being patted and told I'm going to be ok is great too!
Are you really hated and despised? You've annoyed me at times but it's clear to me that you are honest and forthright which are valuable qualities in a world of superficial waffle and new age meanderings. Have you noticed that I too have been attacked for writing in a similar vein?
My least favourite piece of crap is the response by many wishy washy beige people that disagreeing with them is abuse, to which my standard response is that I know what verbal abuse is and I do know how to do it, but I choose not to ... unless of course they'd like a demonstration?
Bravo for the last sentence: I don't compromise my opinions either, for which I've often paid a high price, but I just can't do it.
I'm glad you've found good counselors. Personally, meds don't make me feel lethargic at all, but everyone reacts differently.
I agree with Ellenna. You can't generalize your experiences with others and many people do benefit from help. Who are you to suggest the OP doesn't try to get it?
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thegypsysailor
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I am someone who understands that no doctor can MAKE a patient well. Only the patient can choose to get well. Since 99% of the mental health providers in the US are just pill pushers and don't care half as much about their patients recovery as they do about a steady income, the last suggestion I will make is to suggest professional help first.
If you read my comments on this site, there are some who I suggest should seek therapy, others, not so much.
But absolutely the FIRST place most should start is in their own mind and see if they can effect a change for the best.
Is that so awful?
--
sillygirl77
8 years ago
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I don't agree with you
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thegypsysailor
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That's no surprise.