While I do agree with you at some extent, this mentality is incredibly hard to see from the perspective of a depressed person. In my opinion,to be able to choose to go ahead in life one must have hope.
I spent many years alone and at survival level; day to day. One day I tired of it and got off my ass and refused to allow the depression to rule me any longer.
No doctor or medication can do it for someone.
As I said, "The difference between can and can not is only 3 letters, and those 3 letters determine your life's direction." Three silly little letters. To wake one morning and not allow those three letters to rule one any longer. It's not easy, but life was never guarantied to be easy.
You really don't understand the nature of depression in my opinion. Both meds and therapy have helped me come back to who I am... happy and hopeful. You certainly shouldn't be discouraging someone who says they feel hopeless from getting help. We all need help sometimes and we can't always help ourselves.
Thanks again sillygirl. It seems like the last eight years of my life have gone downhill. Marriage gone, family issues, job loss, like Im having to start over completely in middle age. Im so scared. I feel like Im fighting alone. Thank you so much for your kindness.
That can be so overwhelming even one of those things, but all at once that's really tough. It sounds like depression due to situation, in those cases talk therapy can help a lot. In talk therapy you do a lot of the work, but someone is there to guide you. I think we all need guidance sometimes or a lift up. Especially, when you express you feel scared and like you're fighting alone, it's a good time to find a helping hand. I wish you luck no matter what you decide, but I'd suggest therapy. I know it's been helpful to me. Sometimes one doesn't find the right therapist on the first try, but when one does it can lift some of that weight or load you've been carrying alone. You're very welcome by the way. It's nice to meet you :).
18 years of depression and I don't understand it?
That's quite a statement.
But hey, whatever works for you, right. But the meds and doctors can not make yo change; only you can choose to do it.
Most often the meds only cover up the symptoms; they certainly are not a cure, even you must understand that.
I don't doubt that you'd understand your own depression after 18 years of it, but that doesn't mean you understand anyone else's.
I've had depression off and on for most of my life and have learnt that sometimes I just CAN'T move out of it and need some therapy type help, but never medication as I hate being more lethargic and apathetic than I already am.
It's taken me years to get to a point where I can tell myself "this will pass" because it always has, and to know that I will get so bored with being miserable I'll find some tiny way out of it and then built on that.
I have been very lucky in my life to have found good counsellors at different times when I needed them, and learned a long time ago to avoid the pill pushers and the quick fix therapists.
I wish OP luck in whatever search h/she undertakes to move out of depression, because it's a boring and pointless waste of what I believe is our only life.
You need to give yourself more credit. YOU did what was necessary to control your depression, not your therapists. They may have set you on the path, but they could no more MAKE you change than they could fix you. You are responsible for your successes, just like you would be for your failures.
Also, you understood that the meds were a futile avenue and refused to be seduced by them. Most do not and waste their life in a fog.
I DO give myself credit nearly every day, because sometimes it's still really hard to not let the depression win, and of course when it comes to the crunch I was the one who committed myself to the struggle BUT I don't know if I would've made it without good counselling which provided me with tools to change. Others mightn't be so lucky and I'm not going to judge them, although I must admit people who whine on and on about their lives and do nothing to change do annoy me - sometimes to the point of avoiding them or more often, challenging them to change - sometimes it works, sometimes not.
The problem with this type of medication is that scripts for it are often the only help people are offered, and I don't judge people who trust the "experts" and use them: in some cases they are essential but the other problem is that once on them it's too easy to get hooked and not take any other action to change.
Prozac is the worst thing I've ever taken and it was only for 6 months or so because my gp couldn't continue giving me disability certificates without "treating" me and I couldn't find good affordable counselling at the time. That drug made me so lethargic I couldn't do much to help myself because I couldn't be bothered caring and what's more it destroyed my ability to orgasm without removing the desire for sex ... what sadistic fuckwit invented a so-called anti-depressant with that side effect? Going off it had really bad side effects too, wild euphoria in which I sold my home and spent or gave most of the money away, hence now living in poverty.
I agree with Ellenna. You can't generalize your experiences with others and many people do benefit from help. Who are you to suggest the OP doesn't try to get it?
I am someone who understands that no doctor can MAKE a patient well. Only the patient can choose to get well. Since 99% of the mental health providers in the US are just pill pushers and don't care half as much about their patients recovery as they do about a steady income, the last suggestion I will make is to suggest professional help first.
If you read my comments on this site, there are some who I suggest should seek therapy, others, not so much.
But absolutely the FIRST place most should start is in their own mind and see if they can effect a change for the best.
Is that so awful?
I feel that I have no hope left
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While I do agree with you at some extent, this mentality is incredibly hard to see from the perspective of a depressed person. In my opinion,to be able to choose to go ahead in life one must have hope.
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thegypsysailor
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I spent many years alone and at survival level; day to day. One day I tired of it and got off my ass and refused to allow the depression to rule me any longer.
No doctor or medication can do it for someone.
As I said, "The difference between can and can not is only 3 letters, and those 3 letters determine your life's direction." Three silly little letters. To wake one morning and not allow those three letters to rule one any longer. It's not easy, but life was never guarantied to be easy.
--
sillygirl77
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You really don't understand the nature of depression in my opinion. Both meds and therapy have helped me come back to who I am... happy and hopeful. You certainly shouldn't be discouraging someone who says they feel hopeless from getting help. We all need help sometimes and we can't always help ourselves.
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Fleetline
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thegypsysailor
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Thank-you for your kindness and understanding
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sillygirl77
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*hugs* Fleetline. I hope you can find hope again. It sounds very painful.
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Thanks again sillygirl. It seems like the last eight years of my life have gone downhill. Marriage gone, family issues, job loss, like Im having to start over completely in middle age. Im so scared. I feel like Im fighting alone. Thank you so much for your kindness.
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sillygirl77
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That can be so overwhelming even one of those things, but all at once that's really tough. It sounds like depression due to situation, in those cases talk therapy can help a lot. In talk therapy you do a lot of the work, but someone is there to guide you. I think we all need guidance sometimes or a lift up. Especially, when you express you feel scared and like you're fighting alone, it's a good time to find a helping hand. I wish you luck no matter what you decide, but I'd suggest therapy. I know it's been helpful to me. Sometimes one doesn't find the right therapist on the first try, but when one does it can lift some of that weight or load you've been carrying alone. You're very welcome by the way. It's nice to meet you :).
18 years of depression and I don't understand it?
That's quite a statement.
But hey, whatever works for you, right. But the meds and doctors can not make yo change; only you can choose to do it.
Most often the meds only cover up the symptoms; they certainly are not a cure, even you must understand that.
--
Ellenna
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sillygirl77
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I don't doubt that you'd understand your own depression after 18 years of it, but that doesn't mean you understand anyone else's.
I've had depression off and on for most of my life and have learnt that sometimes I just CAN'T move out of it and need some therapy type help, but never medication as I hate being more lethargic and apathetic than I already am.
It's taken me years to get to a point where I can tell myself "this will pass" because it always has, and to know that I will get so bored with being miserable I'll find some tiny way out of it and then built on that.
I have been very lucky in my life to have found good counsellors at different times when I needed them, and learned a long time ago to avoid the pill pushers and the quick fix therapists.
I wish OP luck in whatever search h/she undertakes to move out of depression, because it's a boring and pointless waste of what I believe is our only life.
--
thegypsysailor
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sillygirl77
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You need to give yourself more credit. YOU did what was necessary to control your depression, not your therapists. They may have set you on the path, but they could no more MAKE you change than they could fix you. You are responsible for your successes, just like you would be for your failures.
Also, you understood that the meds were a futile avenue and refused to be seduced by them. Most do not and waste their life in a fog.
--
Ellenna
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I DO give myself credit nearly every day, because sometimes it's still really hard to not let the depression win, and of course when it comes to the crunch I was the one who committed myself to the struggle BUT I don't know if I would've made it without good counselling which provided me with tools to change. Others mightn't be so lucky and I'm not going to judge them, although I must admit people who whine on and on about their lives and do nothing to change do annoy me - sometimes to the point of avoiding them or more often, challenging them to change - sometimes it works, sometimes not.
The problem with this type of medication is that scripts for it are often the only help people are offered, and I don't judge people who trust the "experts" and use them: in some cases they are essential but the other problem is that once on them it's too easy to get hooked and not take any other action to change.
Prozac is the worst thing I've ever taken and it was only for 6 months or so because my gp couldn't continue giving me disability certificates without "treating" me and I couldn't find good affordable counselling at the time. That drug made me so lethargic I couldn't do much to help myself because I couldn't be bothered caring and what's more it destroyed my ability to orgasm without removing the desire for sex ... what sadistic fuckwit invented a so-called anti-depressant with that side effect? Going off it had really bad side effects too, wild euphoria in which I sold my home and spent or gave most of the money away, hence now living in poverty.
I'm glad you've found good counselors. Personally, meds don't make me feel lethargic at all, but everyone reacts differently.
I agree with Ellenna. You can't generalize your experiences with others and many people do benefit from help. Who are you to suggest the OP doesn't try to get it?
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thegypsysailor
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I am someone who understands that no doctor can MAKE a patient well. Only the patient can choose to get well. Since 99% of the mental health providers in the US are just pill pushers and don't care half as much about their patients recovery as they do about a steady income, the last suggestion I will make is to suggest professional help first.
If you read my comments on this site, there are some who I suggest should seek therapy, others, not so much.
But absolutely the FIRST place most should start is in their own mind and see if they can effect a change for the best.
Is that so awful?
--
sillygirl77
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I don't agree with you