I feel like im socially incompetent

84% Normal
16 Comments

I feel like im socially incompetent. Im in high school and I feel like im socially incompetent for a few reasons. When I first came to the school i'm at now, I was on ADHD medicine, which made me really quiet. I also liked music such as metal and rock which made everyone also think i was weird. Everyone labelled me as that guy that is quiet and weird. I didn't and still don't feel like I have many real friends. Because of that I didn't really learn how to have conversations with people I don't know very well, and it was hard for me to make friends.

Now, Im off my ADHD medicine and I feel as if I don't really know how to talk to people, so kinda just try to be funny, in hopes that I will get friends. It hasn't worked, and even when people saw their my friends, there the kind of friend that just says their your friend so they don't get in trouble.

I tried joining some of the sports teams at my school, such as the cross country team, and the lacrosse team. I probably only gained 2 or 3 real friends from that.

I also play lots of online games, such as Runescape, because I have lots of friends online, and I feel comfortable talking to them.

In a summary basicly everyone at my school thinks im that weird guy that will probably bring a gun to school and kill everyone. Because of that I can't make many friends. I have never thought of even killing anything outside of a video game.

Is that normal to be shy, have everyone think I'm weird, and to want friends, but don't know how to make any?

Voting Results
84% Normal
Based on 37 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • boopgirl17
    13 years ago

    Welcome to the club, have a doughnut. I am quiet and weird, too. People just have to deal with us.

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  • TheOJguy
    13 years ago

    i'm somewhat the same i can't talk to people unless i get paid, but yeah get a suit and tie and people will like you

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  • PoisonFlowers
    14 years ago

    Yeah, once people have set their social groups and people's positions are established, it can be hard to crack into it. No-one can say that you haven't tried. It's just that school sucks.

    You say you've made 2-3 real friends. That's enough. Real friends are a million times better than fake friends any day.

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    • notallthere
      12 years ago

      Sooo true. Real people in general are preferible to those artificials. (:

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  • blaster
    11 years ago

    I was the weird one at school. Usually making just one or two good friends.Always knew most other people were talking about me, admired my friends for snubbing the shit.
    But when I started working , had a few different jobs , some I didn't fit into at all and had no one but the next place I'd be popular so it does depend on the school or place. That ones not your thing .
    I always envied the crowds that had like 20 and 30 girls and guys/parties , beach stuff , all in their circle. Dunno why tho , too many on a day to day basis I reckon.

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  • Antir0b0t
    11 years ago

    HEY. Does the amount of friends you have determine your happiness in life? NO. I experienced that in high school as well, 7even is right, it gets better. So. Much. Better. Just wait it out and stay strong until you can enter the adult world.
    Pleasing others is not your first priority. Pleasing YOU is. Keep that in mind :)

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  • 7even
    11 years ago

    It's just high school man. As soon as you hit college you realize that none of that shit even mattered. Really.

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  • CreativeThinker
    12 years ago

    Unfortunately ADHD people are genetically incompetent to adjust in human beings, They belongs to planet MARS,

    I have ADHD and I bet its a curse

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    I felt that way too. what worked for me (I'm a girl tho...) is just being friendly. now I have two awesome new guy friends who are really friendly back. your personality will attract people of the same kind, so keep that in mind when you meet new people. good luck! and remember there are so many people out there who feel the same way, so ur not alone in anyway. :)

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  • aimblv
    13 years ago

    Confidence is the most attractive thing in a person , people are mostly ignorant and easily influenced and distracted u can pretty much control people just by being confident and sure of your self take lessons from someone you think is cocky

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  • 4w04se
    14 years ago

    Well it seems you already are a group of good friends :) .. you can hang out together do some activities.. definitely you're going to make new friends or find people who share the same things you like .. I also go for Quality as Ollieo said .. It's the people who care that matter.

    I had the same problem in highschool .. I only knew the people who share the same interests. But, I've always found it hard to talk in a group.. Still gained good friends from school.. Even some of them I got to know them better after finishing highschool .. Don't worry anyway in college you will always find a way to engage in any conversation, and performing presentations infront of class totally helped me! Although I still don't like it lol But, it always gets better.

    It's all about practice.. Just try to say your opinion if there's a conversation going on in your presence.. Then you can start from there

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    I think you are being a bit rough on yourself - it sounds like you have friends. Can you bring them together as a group and cultivate relations by hanging out together?

    I agree with PF above - some people in high school think they have a hundred friends. They don't. Look at the quality - not the quantity.

    By the way you sound quite articulate and pleasant.

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    • [Old Memory]
      14 years ago

      PS acquiring social skills is something you start doing at your age and for quite some time to come. You haven't missed much.

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  • dakaa
    14 years ago

    hello there... i'm at the same situation as you too, wanna be friends? we can chat over msn, with mic or something. :)

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    • incesesmoke
      14 years ago

      Hey man, I had two close friends back in Europe but I have migrated to a new country. I pretty much had to start all over. I feel like I don't have any true friends because I had to build a relationship with them very late. They might not be very close with me but at least they are sort of friends so I think there is many people like you. I am pretty shy myself and very reserved I have some small issues for lack of belonging to a group. Sometimes I get anxious if there are too many people around me so I guess we just have to move on and there will always be people who are in the same shoes. I hope you do well and wish you all the best :).

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  • dakaa
    14 years ago

    online chatting is a bit different.

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