This is completely normal. I am a secular humanist, most definitely an atheist, but I am still culturally Catholic in a lot of ways. I respect the strength, comfort, and sense of community my family draws from their faith, even if that respect often feels unreciprocated. I know exactly what you mean by those uncomfortable conversations. I went through a long and stressful crisis of faith in my mid-teens and wasn't quite sure where to turn. Julia Sweeney's monologue, "Letting Go of God," was surprisingly helpful. I think it does a good job of what a lot of us go through when we find ourselves becoming less religious. It's also very funny. Look for it on YouTube if you're interested.
I feel like I'm a mixture of being Christian and being agnostic
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This is completely normal. I am a secular humanist, most definitely an atheist, but I am still culturally Catholic in a lot of ways. I respect the strength, comfort, and sense of community my family draws from their faith, even if that respect often feels unreciprocated. I know exactly what you mean by those uncomfortable conversations. I went through a long and stressful crisis of faith in my mid-teens and wasn't quite sure where to turn. Julia Sweeney's monologue, "Letting Go of God," was surprisingly helpful. I think it does a good job of what a lot of us go through when we find ourselves becoming less religious. It's also very funny. Look for it on YouTube if you're interested.