I feel like having sex with a girl makes her doubt everything before

50% Normal
11 Comments

I don't think sex is dirty or anything but I think that it makes anything you've done with the girl beforehand less genuine. Like if you have sex with her then she wakes up the next day with a feeling like you pulled the rug out from under her.

It all falls into perspective and she'll start to think she just fell for a really elaborate hoax. I don't want her to doubt my sincerity especially if I really like her.

Problem is I almolst never end up having sex and girls always end up thinking i'm disinterested. I only ever have sex with forward girls who blatantly imply that they want to have sex with me, like the girl who's eyes would get huge and couldn't stop smiling when she saw me, or the friends with benefits who asked if I like to cuddle after... via text, before we'd ever had sex. 

When I don't sleep with them I feel like it proves I was really genuinely interested in them. Or after we have sex I take a while to initiate again so that she knows our relationship hasn't fundementally changed and that's now all I want her for. A lot of times though I feel like I'm sending the message that I didn't enjoy it. One girl even asked me that. I also don't finish with women, again for the same reason almolst. I feel like I gotta make sex last fucking forever, and I'm good at it, but I do it by totally repressing myself even during sex, then I can't finish.

What's going on, I'm definitely doing this wrong. It's like unless it's explicitly stated by her that she wants it I still feel like having sex with a girl is something that's genuinely harmful to her, emotionally. Like yea she wants sex now but I'd get the same feeling as if I was giving an alcoholic a beer just because they'd be a happy drunk and be nicer around me. Like I'm giving them a momentary happiness that I know they'll regret just because it's better for me.

Voting Results
50% Normal
Based on 16 votes (8 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 11 )
  • Crazyperson2
    8 years ago

    I am a female. I know the feeling of looking back on a relationship and wondering if that is all he wanted. But now that i have read your entry i don't doubt him anymore. Thanks :) anyways for your situation, You can just explain either before or after you have sex, "Hey this doesn't change anything to me, I still love you for you. If it would change things for you we don't have to do it." or for after just skip that last sentence. And if you enjoyed it then do it again or she will worry that you didn't enjoy it. That is not a pleasant feeling for a girl.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • Crazyperson2
      8 years ago

      Also its fine to finish. You don't have to last forever. If you finish before her just finger her till she finishes. Also fingering does nothing unless you hit her g-spot. Basically use your middle finger and curve it towards her belly button from inside of her and then repetitively rub it across that spongy bit of the wall. just don't catch it with a nail. Or if you finish before her you could ask her to "go down on you" just explain what you want her to do

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • daydreamer394
    8 years ago

    You seem nice...

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Redcoats
    8 years ago

    If someone wants to have sex with you, it's because they want to.

    Sounds like to me you just need to relax more (:

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Definately, I've got an amazing poker face though and no one can read me unless I'm almolst going crazy, but when that happens I just stay away from people. I've got issues with sex, and women that are pretty layered.

      Trying to understand them.

      I'm just extremely afraid of hurting or angering women.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Black_Female
    8 years ago

    I think what you're really looking for is commitment. The whole "questioning whether he's really in it for me or the sex" thing goes out the window when a real commitment is put on the table. When there's a commitment and you know beforehand that the person is in it for the long haul, all those doubts and fears go away. Try being celibate for a while, and when you find the right one, propose to her. Then after marriage, you guys could have sex and still know when you wake up you have the rest of your lives to make love to each other blissfully and happily.

    Of course, if any of the above bothers you greatly, then I think you should pull up a mirror and stop lying to yourself and face the fact that you are only in it for the sex.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Splithead
      8 years ago

      Lol, that does bother me because I do want sex but I'm not lieing about anything. Only reason I think it's a problem is because I've actually made girls feel bad by not initiating sex much. There's a mental hickup there, I just never really feel free to to just go for it..m even after we've had sex before. It just seems like I'd be fulfilling a steriotype but it's all in my head.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • mlbryan44
    8 years ago

    They like it when you cum in their mouth.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Aries
    8 years ago

    I prefer to have sex 90 days after meeting the girl and also the girl I am fucking right now I waited 6 months so ... it's not a big deal but remember that sleeping with someone earlier than expected isn't always a curse . It could be a strong attraction and sometime .. waiting isn't an option

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • shuggy-chan
    8 years ago

    Try asking her?

    I mean hell be blunt or pose it as a question

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Can you do that, I've heard girls say that if a guy ever asked them to have sex the answer would be no... regardless.

      I have been coming to the conclusion that relentless honesty is the best policy so this has crossed my mind, at least for someone in my position.

      Sometimes I'm not sure what I'm feeling though, and I think I create feelings for girls who are interested in me because I know they're the only ones who will be forward enough with me to make me sure I should have sex with them. It kind of makes me feel predatory, because then I am kind of lieing to get into thier pants... as well as targeting a specific my type of girl. I'm just lieing to both her and myself subconciously.

      I get this clingy kind of attachment too that I don't show ever. It's a bit over the top and it can happen even with these girls who I didn't find armttracrive until I knew they were interested. After sex it intensifies and makes me really want her to believe in my feelings.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1