I feel like a terrible person sometimes

You should feel like shit!😠 You're so cruel!
Just kidding again 😂😂 haha lol. Everyone tells white lies. You're being very polite to people compared to how many people are. It's perfectly ok to say no to someone you don't want to kiss, and you're not even doing that. And you do have the right to say you're busy even if all you're wanting to do is lie down and watch movies, eat, and chill on your own. I do that. I'll lay in bed, stuff myself, watch a DVD or Netflix, and eventually take a nap. Don't care what time of day it is on my days off. I stay home and answer to nobody, unless it's an emergency with someone I care about, because I haven't lost my heart. It definitely looks like you haven't. If you lost your heart, you'd be doing things 10 times meaner than what you're doing and then you wouldn't be posting about being guilty about it because you just wouldn't care. You're feeling guilty about things that you shouldn't be feeling guilty about, because you've done nothing wrong.