Don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone has faults and lies sometimes. And most people think of themselves, look out for number 1. It doesn't automatically make you selfish, unless you're really throwing people under the bus that care about you just to get your way. And everyone chooses the friends that make them happy, that's why people make friends. And everyone's nice because it makes themselves feel better. They feel better because they made someone else feel better, that's kindness. You're not a terrible person, not based on anything you've mentioned.
I feel like a terrible person sometimes
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Don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone has faults and lies sometimes. And most people think of themselves, look out for number 1. It doesn't automatically make you selfish, unless you're really throwing people under the bus that care about you just to get your way. And everyone chooses the friends that make them happy, that's why people make friends. And everyone's nice because it makes themselves feel better. They feel better because they made someone else feel better, that's kindness. You're not a terrible person, not based on anything you've mentioned.