I don't get your hostile reaction. You admitted yourself that you are self-medicating with drugs so you don't have to actually deal with the issues that are holding you back/down.
Why do you act on impulses? Can you control it? That is where this all started, isn't it?
My advice: Get a real therapist (hell, I'm going to one, and I'm not even that fucked up). Seriously. Just talk it out with them. They're not even necessarily going to try to witch-hunt out your problem or judge you, just understand where you're coming from. They also know where to push/what to tell you so you can actually get your brain and life back on track.
I feel i fucked up my life so badly that I'm far behind people my age
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I don't get your hostile reaction. You admitted yourself that you are self-medicating with drugs so you don't have to actually deal with the issues that are holding you back/down.
Why do you act on impulses? Can you control it? That is where this all started, isn't it?
My advice: Get a real therapist (hell, I'm going to one, and I'm not even that fucked up). Seriously. Just talk it out with them. They're not even necessarily going to try to witch-hunt out your problem or judge you, just understand where you're coming from. They also know where to push/what to tell you so you can actually get your brain and life back on track.