Hm. I also feel displaced, which is why I, like many of these other commenters, found this page via random Google searching about our predicament. But the thing is, I'm not upset about my existence (not right now, anyway). I feel as if I have some purpose here. It's not some great epic destiny (I'm not THAT egotistical), more like some larger, older, wise version of me decided to come here as part of a game, a game that also has deep meaning. So as much as I try not to *buy* into all the bullshit this civilization has to offer (de-programming is a constant, daily task), and as frustrated as I get sometimes because I rarely meet someone like me (though I'm finding more and more people who at least play with the ideas that feel self-evident to me), I am rarely bored. I find love and joy and pain and trauma and growth fascinating, and I'm eager to keep expanding my consciousness and my compassion and my intuition as I wander around this strange world. As I feel and learn about my grandest forms, that seem to reach into more and more realms, I simultaneously realize that I am also the tiniest bug that seems not to matter, the dust under a decrepit couch, nothing. I believe this deep lesson is related to why I work jobs on opposite ends of the spectrum (college instructor and dive bartender) and why I enjoyed performing Classical piano competitively as well as touring with a bunch of smelly, drug-addict musicians. I'm so thankful that my consciousness experiences things in this way, with fluidity and curiosity. It feels so terribly lonely at times, and I definitely question my sanity (I mean how does one not in this fucked up society?). I struggle with depression and anxiety and eating disorders and addiction and PTSD. But I also want to wake up each day (for the most part) to explore again, to process pain, to live compassion and be love, to grow more into my role as an empath and healer, to stretch my understanding of existence as far as it will reach.
So love to you all, fellow weirdo darlings. Wishing you all adventures and growth and compassion, and whatever else your odd little hearts desire.
ps ~ explorations in theoretical physics, cosmology, meditation, spirituality (for lack of a better term), and zen buddhism are my jams. what about y'all?
I feel displaced, as if I'm from somewhere else
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Hm. I also feel displaced, which is why I, like many of these other commenters, found this page via random Google searching about our predicament. But the thing is, I'm not upset about my existence (not right now, anyway). I feel as if I have some purpose here. It's not some great epic destiny (I'm not THAT egotistical), more like some larger, older, wise version of me decided to come here as part of a game, a game that also has deep meaning. So as much as I try not to *buy* into all the bullshit this civilization has to offer (de-programming is a constant, daily task), and as frustrated as I get sometimes because I rarely meet someone like me (though I'm finding more and more people who at least play with the ideas that feel self-evident to me), I am rarely bored. I find love and joy and pain and trauma and growth fascinating, and I'm eager to keep expanding my consciousness and my compassion and my intuition as I wander around this strange world. As I feel and learn about my grandest forms, that seem to reach into more and more realms, I simultaneously realize that I am also the tiniest bug that seems not to matter, the dust under a decrepit couch, nothing. I believe this deep lesson is related to why I work jobs on opposite ends of the spectrum (college instructor and dive bartender) and why I enjoyed performing Classical piano competitively as well as touring with a bunch of smelly, drug-addict musicians. I'm so thankful that my consciousness experiences things in this way, with fluidity and curiosity. It feels so terribly lonely at times, and I definitely question my sanity (I mean how does one not in this fucked up society?). I struggle with depression and anxiety and eating disorders and addiction and PTSD. But I also want to wake up each day (for the most part) to explore again, to process pain, to live compassion and be love, to grow more into my role as an empath and healer, to stretch my understanding of existence as far as it will reach.
So love to you all, fellow weirdo darlings. Wishing you all adventures and growth and compassion, and whatever else your odd little hearts desire.
ps ~ explorations in theoretical physics, cosmology, meditation, spirituality (for lack of a better term), and zen buddhism are my jams. what about y'all?