I don't understand

I am not entirely sure if this is somewhere I should discuss this, but I honestly don't understand people. Most of the people I know are emotional, and I've never understood those. Emotions. They've never made sense to me. It seems like I've always just faked it. I don't think I am normal. I am extremely intelligent, and have had a profound and insatiable curiosity. First, I'll give some background information. When I was like 7 or 8, me and my cousin were arguing, and one thing led to another and I stood on his chest until he stopped breathing. I just stood there and looked at him. I started doing chest compression's and he started breathing again and he looked terrified. I didn't understand. He was alive, right? What was he so freaked out by? Is that normal? That I didn't feel anything even though I nearly killed him? A year or so later me and a friend of mine were riding bikes around town and there was a opossum in the road playing opossum. Well he thought it was dead so he ran it over and it squealed. It wasn't dead, but he killed it. I was fascinated. I went back and ran it over again. I wanted to make it squeal. I spent the next 10 minutes or so running it over, again, again, and again. It made me angry that it wouldn't and I started to scream at my friend. I was furious. A few years later when I was 11 or so, I tried to super glue a stray cat's mouth shut. I wanted to watch it suffer. Two years ago I stabbed that friend that ran over the opossum in the leg with a machete cause we were messing around in my room and he hit me with one of those fake light saber's I got when I was little. I was fascinated by the blood. I've always been fascinated by blood. But I did patch him up and I told him I was sorry and that I felt awful, even if it was a lie. Last summer I dissected a frog while it was still alive. During the process I tried to slice its throat but I couldn't. Frog skin is apparently tougher than I thought. I got angry and started stabbing it over, and over, and over again. Finally it died and I continued to pull out organs. I think I'm going to try a cat next. I didn't feel bad for any of these things. Is that normal? I can pretend that I feel things like empathy and stuff but I don't actually know what they feel like. I want to understand how people live with emotions. I think it's better to live without them. I don't see the benefit of them. But it's weird. Last year in October, I got a girlfriend, and I actually care about her. I really do. I've never felt that way before. Yes I've had other girlfriends in the past but that was mostly to look like everyone else. I've done research and found out that although rare, some people like me can form strong connections to certain people. Also, I have never thought about hurting a child, even though I am around them a lot and they would be easy targets given that I am bigger than them. The idea just seems cruel, even for someone like me. I kinda like kids. Sometimes. But it seems like a waste to hurt them. You can mold a child into whatever you want them to be. Is thought normal? Is any of this normal? I know I am not alone. If anyone else feels the way I do, even if you don't agree with everything I have said, I would like to read your comments. I want to learn how to interact with people. Even if it's only to appear to be like others.