yeah, my childhood fucking sucked. my mom didnt help at all either, and my biological father, dont want to get started on him.
motherfuck, lets tell everything.
my elementary years (1-9)
i started cutting myself in 4th grade or fifth, i just used a tack because i was pissed at my mom, it didnt even draw blood, it just stopped myself from rageing.
middle school:
well, i'm going to divide my experince into parts.
6th grade: i was still cutting, but i used scissors, like the sharp pointy tip? i used that. so, i was confused with my sexuallity as well. i couldnt tell if i was bisexual or straight, so i labled myself as bi-curious. i was pretty fucked up too, i started smoking weed with my friends and it helped, i was calmer, but i still raged alot, i was diagnosed with bipolar at 12 and adhd like in 3rd grade.
7th grade: still was cutting, at this point i self diagnosed myself with depression. it was really bad, i thinked about killing myself everynight, how just doing it would stop the pain. i once overdosed, but i panicked and threw the pills up, i'm happy i did that.
8th grade: it was terrible now, i used razors too cut myself, the sting is what made me choose it, i wasn't really as bullied, my home life kept getting bad and badder by the day, i never opened up to not one person, telling people my problems seemed just like i wanted them to solve it, which made things worse.
Highschool:
not much better.
9th grade. still used a razor, i cut really deep a few times, i got into a punching fight with this one girl on my bus, and my mom found out and praised me because the girl was talking shit in my face, so i went off.
10th grade: i labled myself as bisexual now, and still cutted. i wanted to stop, but i was addicted to it, i couldnt stop. i thought about killing myself everyday still, but you know, i stopped myself before i grabbed the rope. thinking "is it worth it?"
11th grade: it was really bad now, the bullying kicked right back up, because one girl saw me wrist, i was labled as a dumb emo bitch, whore, slut, people saying how killing myself would be the best thing to do. i really wanted to die then, so i just stabbed myelf with the pointy part of the razor and it was so close to a vein. i still have the jab mark.
12 grade (grade im in)
i still cut, i still want to die, im pulling through thinking about my schoolwork so i dont have to re do it. i cant wait.
I don't miss my childhood
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yeah, my childhood fucking sucked. my mom didnt help at all either, and my biological father, dont want to get started on him.
motherfuck, lets tell everything.
my elementary years (1-9)
i started cutting myself in 4th grade or fifth, i just used a tack because i was pissed at my mom, it didnt even draw blood, it just stopped myself from rageing.
middle school:
well, i'm going to divide my experince into parts.
6th grade: i was still cutting, but i used scissors, like the sharp pointy tip? i used that. so, i was confused with my sexuallity as well. i couldnt tell if i was bisexual or straight, so i labled myself as bi-curious. i was pretty fucked up too, i started smoking weed with my friends and it helped, i was calmer, but i still raged alot, i was diagnosed with bipolar at 12 and adhd like in 3rd grade.
7th grade: still was cutting, at this point i self diagnosed myself with depression. it was really bad, i thinked about killing myself everynight, how just doing it would stop the pain. i once overdosed, but i panicked and threw the pills up, i'm happy i did that.
8th grade: it was terrible now, i used razors too cut myself, the sting is what made me choose it, i wasn't really as bullied, my home life kept getting bad and badder by the day, i never opened up to not one person, telling people my problems seemed just like i wanted them to solve it, which made things worse.
Highschool:
not much better.
9th grade. still used a razor, i cut really deep a few times, i got into a punching fight with this one girl on my bus, and my mom found out and praised me because the girl was talking shit in my face, so i went off.
10th grade: i labled myself as bisexual now, and still cutted. i wanted to stop, but i was addicted to it, i couldnt stop. i thought about killing myself everyday still, but you know, i stopped myself before i grabbed the rope. thinking "is it worth it?"
11th grade: it was really bad now, the bullying kicked right back up, because one girl saw me wrist, i was labled as a dumb emo bitch, whore, slut, people saying how killing myself would be the best thing to do. i really wanted to die then, so i just stabbed myelf with the pointy part of the razor and it was so close to a vein. i still have the jab mark.
12 grade (grade im in)
i still cut, i still want to die, im pulling through thinking about my schoolwork so i dont have to re do it. i cant wait.
PHEW.
--
TheOneAndOnly:)
10 years ago
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but i'm doing alot better then my past years right now.