I don't love myself or anyone else, but i really want to..

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Is it normal, if you don't love yourself or anyone else? Because I don't, but I really want to. I'm very insecure and I doubt myself with everything I do. I think everything about myself is stupid.. and weird. I don't feel comfortable with myself, and I don't feel love for anyone else as well.. I don't "love" my family. My parents, my sisters, my friends.. I tell them I do though, because I know that I'm supposed to, but I don't really mean it.

I try really hard to feel anything at all but when I come too close to feelings like love, I shut down, feeling uncomfortable and then I just want it to stop! It freaks me out and I end up hurting people. That's the only thing I feel, I feel really sad when I hurt people's feelings. But that makes me even more uncomfortable with myself! I really don't know what to do anymore..

So, do you think this is normal? And please, if you have tips, advice or anything you'd like to say, please tell me!

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 6 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • joybird
    11 years ago | pl

    Why not start out small and get a dog / cat?

    You should enjoy their companionship and as they don't live forever, you may discover that you loved them when they pass away.

    I'm sure you do love your family, you just don't know it - as you haven't lost any of them yet.

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  • Downcast7
    11 years ago | pl

    The majority of my life now is based on this, so as far as I know this is hella normal. I dont even know where to begin. I can relate to everything you typed. I dont say i love you to family at all because i gave up on that fact, even though they care about me. Past rejections sent me to an all time low of selfesteem and doubt to a point where i wonder if i have a purpose in this world. I hate hurting people, and rather hurt myself instead. Friends want me join them but i refuse, i fantasize everyday just so i can feel comfortable some how.

    I could go on about this.....

    In terms of tips, if you really want out of this, seek help from a social worker. It may sound lame but with the right words and some guidance, it'll help.

    It may sound scary or too much, but its a start. Ive being seeing one for years, but i know ive been much wiser and clearer.

    Not alone on this one.

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    • iwantanswers
      11 years ago | pl

      Thank you for your advice, really helpful :) I think I will seek help from a social worker. I do really want to get out of this, or at least, I want to know how to deal with this.. situation, without hurting anyone else.

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  • karmasAbich
    11 years ago | pl

    This sounds normal to me. I do love my family though. I have a hard time accepting myself. I feel like I need to improve myself 100% of the time. Trying to find a middle ground is what is hard. I never hang out with people because i think so negatively. Positive atttitudes is key

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  • Medah
    11 years ago | pl

    I used to feel like this and therapy really helped. I learned that it's okay to not love my family, because the truth is they don't really love me either, and that there are other people out there who I can love and who will love me back. It's a big taboo to say it, but some parents actually do not love their children, usually due to issues with their own families growing up. It's hard to learn love without a family to teach you, but you can do it! It's worth it.

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