I don't know how to let people get close to me.

83% Normal
4 Comments

I grew up being abused, but I have really dealt with it and forgiven everything that has happened through lots of soul searching and prayer. Ever since then I guess I just don't let people (guys in particular) get close to me. I can have good time an make you laugh, but I never let you get really near to me. I have a guy that has become a dear friend, he really wants to know me for who I truly am, but I don't know how to let him in. I want him to be more then a friend, and I think he wants that too, but I keep hitting a brick wall of emotions. I've dealt with the abuse, it shouldn't affect my relationships...I try so hard to keep my past separate from my present. How should I deal with this? Is this normal?

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 66 votes (55 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • fotodude
    14 years ago

    You only think you've overcome the abuse. Get professional help. Don't let the abusers continue to win over an outgoing, fun girl.
    I'm dating a woman who was abused, and she still sees one uncle who was an abuser to her. Talk about forgiving! I cannot be in the same room with him. He's in his 70s and I still want to wring his neck for what he did to her and her sisters. They are PIGS, don't let them win.

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  • hashbrowns
    14 years ago

    seeing a professional psychologist will really help you to separate feelings from ur childhood and feelins towards ur potential lover. and the more time u spend with him and the more relaxed u feel around him the more you will open up. and may be a good idea to let him know about wot ur going through so he can help u =)

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  • risky1
    14 years ago

    I think it's normal. I have the same problem. I married a woman, loved her with all I had but she was poison to me. She became my worst enemy and the legal system helped her to victimize me further. Now i am afraid to marry my gf who loves me alot. I don't believe any words of love, since actions speak louder.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    I think this is normal. Everyone needs trust to develop in a relationship to get close. So take your time and trust yourself as well.

    Having been victimized before you may be more guarded in some ways, even though you have largely dealt with it. That is very understandable. If you are not sure where this brick wall of emotions is coming from, consider talking with a pastor or counsellor.

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