I don't know how to deal with the upcoming death of my crush & friend

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40 Comments

I always knew that life isn't always about good and happy times . I am a believer, not just a believer but religious. I always perform rituals whenever I pray and never end the day without reading the holy book. I have ocd and I am worried all the time . When I was 20, my parents annulled and my father died 2 months after the annullment. I really didn't care about my mother, she is nothing to me anyway. I grew up with my beloved uncles and grandma. They are very supportive of me especially when my father died. It was hard for me to finally realize that life goes on when he died. I had been able to move on but just yesterday, my best friend and crush told me that he was diagnosed with aids and I know that aids is a deadly disease. I wasn't been able to sleep last night and now they said that I was haluccinating. I couldn't believe my ears. Did I really heard that he is dying? I'm confused and shock. My father and now my best friend? Help me. I am soooooo confused right now. I'm turning 24 on the 2nd of May and it's the "PERFECT GIFT" for me.

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79% Normal
Based on 14 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 40 )
  • theseeker
    8 years ago

    I've seen people go. Everyone goes away in the end. It's part of life. My father died very suddenly and unexpectedly when I was 15. It was like one day he was there, then he was just gone. It was a tough pill to swallow because I had a good relationship with him, and was forced to live with my mom, which left me in a state of hopelessness. Like, what now?

    What I'm trying to say, these things happen all the time. Death can happen at any given moment, and there's absolutely nothing we can do about it. Life is a gift not a given right and can literally change in the blink of an eye. It's not easy, but we can't let it slow us down too much. We have to keep moving forward because life will go on whether we want it to or not. Don't let it stop you, or one day you'll wake up and realize 5 years of your life has just gone by. Asking yourself, where have I been? I'm not sure if this helps you, but it took me a long time to realize that.

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    • ely02mercado
      8 years ago

      My father died in 2011 when I was 20... Maybe because he was sick so my mother annulled with him . I hate my mother! My auntie was found guilty for killing her husband and now she is wanted. And now this man whom Have become my best friend told me he is dying of aids .. I am in love with him and I'm afraid of losing him. You know, it really hurts so much . Sometimes life is soooo unfair!

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      • theseeker
        8 years ago

        It's understandable why you feel that way. I'm sorry for all of it, I really am. I don't think life was meant to be fair, and I know it's not meant to be perfect, but you do the best you can no matter how hard the circumstances are.

        Life is a lesson. It's all about how you respond. I've been there with nothing left. I believe when you have nothing left, that's really when you find out what your worth. Everyone has to feel pain, and learn to grieve. It shapes you into who you are and what you become. What you learn from it can't be taught or bought.

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        • ely02mercado
          8 years ago

          I really thank you for your moral support .... ^_^
          May our Benovelent Father be with you . May He bless you and your family :)

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  • howaminotmyself
    8 years ago

    I have a couple friends with aids. They live happy, normal lives. It's the one with stage 4 breast cancer that im worried about.

    I know it sucks, but just remember that life is full of ups and downs. Do your best to enjoy the tie you do have with friends and loved ones. Being worried solves nothing and only robs you of your happiness.

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    • ely02mercado
      8 years ago

      Thank u very much my friend ... I think I need some theraphist . May the Benovelent Father be with you :)

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    Im very sorry to hear that. Ive dealt with death a lot the last few years and know its hard to bring up. You can ask me if you want advice but i am not sure if i can help though i try. Aids can sometimes last a life time though. It is unknown How long someone may live with it.

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    • ely02mercado
      8 years ago

      Thanks for being supportive . After all the trials that have come my way, one of my aunt is wanted for killing her husband so I am in charge of my younger cousins and Everytime they opened it up to me, I feel very compassionate. They want their mother in jail but she is still my aunt and then the annullment of my parents, the death of my father and now, this crush of mine whom have become my best friend. He is very weak right now and I don't think he'll gonna make this. After this who's next? I don't think I could endure another pain. Everytime I pray to God all I'm asking is to have a peace of mind. But my faith in him is becoming stronger than ever but I am so sad right now and I haven't cried yet. I am still on the merge of shock right now. I just needed somebody to tell all of this . I 'm becoming paranoid right now.

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      • [Old Memory]
        8 years ago

        I have felt in shock for months when people I cared about have passed. Often it doesnt hit me for about half a year of having no reaction and then I flip when my brain understands they arent coming back. Its like I know what happend the whole time but it doesnt quite click for a while. Everyone deals with death through life and it often saddens me how much more I will have to go through. I dont know what happens when we die, but this life is the only thing I can be certain of. I wish I could give better advice, but I am often unsure how to make people feel better, though I have gone through the similar things, so you are not alone.

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        • ely02mercado
          8 years ago

          Thank u very much! I don't know what I'm going to do until u gave me consolation . Thank you! May the Benovelent Father in heaven bless you and your family!

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  • kelili
    8 years ago

    The life expentancy of some living with aids with treatment is almost the same as the average people. :)

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    • ely02mercado
      8 years ago

      Really? But he is poor and I don't think he can afford his medicine . I kept in touch with him so I can monitor its progress

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      • kelili
        8 years ago

        Yes. Aren't there associations that he can visit? They would know how to guide him.

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    • pixie44
      8 years ago

      Yes unless they stop taking their medicine.

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    AIDS isn't a death sentence any more and hasn't been for years: if your friend believes this he's mistaken. There are people living now who've had AIDS for 20 years

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  • Avant-Garde
    8 years ago

    Take him to A faith healer and get him tested afterwards to make sure it's gone.

    I went to a faith healer and she didn't help me, but I have had relatives who went to the same women and she healed them. It's worth a try.

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  • pixie44
    8 years ago

    What do you mean you were hallucinating?
    You were hallucinating your friend having aids?
    Or the stress is causing you to hallucinate? so confused >.<

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    • ely02mercado
      8 years ago

      I'm haluccinating because of the stress after I've heard that my best friend had aids

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      • pixie44
        8 years ago

        What do you mean by hallucinate?
        Are you hearing voices? seeing things? Or are they just delusional thoughts?
        Because those are very different.
        Either way I would go see a doctor / psychiatrist.
        Schizophrenia usually hits during puberty or in early 20's and can usually be brought on by a lot of stress or traumatic situation. It is passed genetically and sometimes just happens for no cause at all. I can't diagnosis you but google the symptoms and see if its similar. Maybe even talking to someone about it may ease your mind a bit and make you relax.

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        • ely02mercado
          8 years ago

          I was hearing things ... And those voices told me that it's too late ..

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    I thought all you religious people had all the answers.
    But I'm confused.
    If you religious people believe when you die, you go to a better place, then why are you so unhappy for your friend? Could it be you are really unhappy for yourself because you will lose your friend? So you are making this about YOU, not him? How does that sit with your religious teachings? hum?

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    • Short4Words
      8 years ago

      You're really out for blood.

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      • ely02mercado
        8 years ago

        He was not out of blood ... He has full of blood .. His blood pressure is up. I was just asking advice from you and I wouldn't force anyone to comment but he seems to be soo angry . Seeing a person who is grieving in pain, my tendency is to comfort him/her not to get mad at him/her. I don't care if he/she is an atheist or not.

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      • thegypsysailor
        8 years ago

        These holy rollers drive me up a wall. There is nothing as hypocritical as a religious person.

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        • Short4Words
          8 years ago

          Everyone's a hypocrite.

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        • pixie44
          8 years ago

          Not just religious people are hypocrites, come on.
          From a 'religious' point of view we are all sinners, no one is perfect.

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          • ely02mercado
            8 years ago

            True!

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          • thegypsysailor
            8 years ago

            No one is as hypocritical as those who preach a path that they themselves choose not to follow.

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            • pixie44
              8 years ago

              I would say the government is more hypocritical than anyone but whatever. Not all religious people are like that.

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    • ely02mercado
      8 years ago

      Just asking, what are you so mad about us, religious? If you don't believe in God, then it's okay . We have our own points of view . You have yours, we have ours. True Christians do not discriminate and we're humans too... As I have said, my friend is dying. Instead of giving someone comfort, you are showing the world how rude you are, well I wouldn't say that all atheist are rude because I have sooooo many friends who are atheist that are very compassionate. Now what I mean is, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all .... I WAS JUST SEEKING ADVICE FROM PEOPLE because I am sad my friend is dying.

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