I don't have the level of intimacy with my husband i would like

I agree with the others. Just go very slow and careful with him.

Though I have to wonder why you married a guy that you have such sexual incompatibility with.

don't talk to him just do it. Start off with something just a little more elaborate, not too wild and see his reaction. You may think you know him but maybe you don't. If you want something take the initiative otherwise this will drive a stake between you. Don't see your husband short without taking a chance on him. Spend some time and think of something that will stretch him just a little bit.

If you two have been drunk, then you know it lowers inhibitions.

If you can't 'accidentally' get drunk enough to risk an unpleasant convo by asking him to do some particular thing to YOU, then get him drunk enough to not fight you when you do something to him. And tell him the whole time how much you love him for it, and how good it makes you feel.

And point blank TELL him you want to enjoy great sex with HIM- let him wonder what you mean by that [sometimes they'll give in rather than risk you stepping out- men use that all the time to coerce wives into 3 ways . You are STAYING within marital boundaries] Marriage is supposed to be about trust. If he cannot trust you with his private situations, then you do not have a good marriage in other areas. Does he also control all the money?

I just distanced myself from someone that cannot lower his barriers enough to trust me with his issues. Pussy footing around, bringing it up gently and avoiding the topic does NO GOOD.

Could have been GREAT, all of our insecurities notwithstanding. Don't let it go....

you could always make sure he catches you playing with a vibrator or doing something hes never done to you before... pros are that he thinks to himself wow if she likes that then i should do it to her. con is that hes like woww she has to play with herself to make up for what we dont do in bed. choose wisely..

Enjoy a great fantasy life with vibrators and whatever else and enjoy your sweet husband. No marriage retains its original sexual passion. If it it, nobody would ever be able to get anything else done like earn a living, wash the dishes etc. Tough truth, but it IS the truth.

He's from India his parents had an arranged married and sex was thought of only as an act to make babies. He's not that bad, but I know this man inside and out I know he would not go along with anything kinky.

We have been drunk, I have joked or brought it up during intimate moments and it kind of killed the moment. He always says stuff, "What we have is great, we don't need to change anything.' If I push it there will be no action for that night.

Well if you two ever go out, and you get a little drunk, or even pretend to be drunk, you should tell him. Worst case scenario is that he knows his wife wants to get freaky, and trust me... no matter how serious he is, that's a good problem to have.

I agree. He probably wants that just as much as you, and is shy or would feel like he's freaking you out if he talked about it. Just bring it up some time. xD

Tell him you never tried anal sex and you read about it on line and you would like to try it

What specifically do you want to do????

I am willing to bet he is more game for it than you think....

Oh and please post a detailed response as to what exactly you like...

Thanks in advance!

Just take one small step at a time.

You don't need to talk about your past. And, you don't want to enumerate all the kinky things you want to do--that could make him very uncomfortable. But, what you CAN do is ask, suggest, offer, or just plain do without asking, one NEW thing every once in a while. Once you've done it once, it is easier to do it again.

Make a list of those things you liked to do in the past, but keep it secret. Then, from time to time, choose one new thing from that list, and figure out a way to introduce it into your next session. If he asks WHY you want to do that, you could mention that you used to do that in the past, or you read about it in a woman's magazine, or you just heard about it from a girl friend. In any case, you want to TRY it to see what it feels like.

If he doesn't want to do a particular thing, don't get upset. Just accept his decision, wait a few days or weeks, and try something else.

After a few months, things might be a lot kinkier than they are now.

Introduce one thing at a time until it is part of your sex life ... NOTE: don't talk about having great sex with your ex.

If you do not tell him you may end up cheating on him one day, once you do that your relationship will be forever done with and he will never trust you again. TELL HIM. He is a guy and guys want a freak in their woman. You have nothing to lose. You are only torturing yourself by missing out on some lusty sex. We all want freaky sex, EVERYONE! It is the classic root of all psychology. HE secretly fantasizes about it and tells no one, maybe he is uptight because of the way he was raised or others expectations of him.