I don't feel good/stimulated during sexual interactions

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5 Comments

I lost my virginity about a month ago to be my boyfriend. It hurt a lot about the first four times but it started to hurt less later. It still hurts every time but after I get used to it it doesn't hurt as badly, but I think that's because we only really can have sex every week. I thought after it got done hurting it would feel better, but it doesn't. I don't feel anything really, I just feel like there's something in me. It's not that I'm not attracted to him because I am, and he's pretty good at it when we do. I also don't feel any response when kissing or cuddling, ect. It's been like this with every boyfriend I've had. But what's weird is I'm a very sexual person, I have fantasys and I masturbate and I'm able to make myself orgasm when masturbating and having a fantasy about my boyfriend or about someone else just not having real sex. Is there anything I can do to make sex feel good?

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Comments ( 5 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • vicariousvulgarity
    10 years ago | pl

    Try masturbating in front of your boyfriend to show him what makes you feel good. Everyone has different preferences and he won't know unless you tell him or he figures it out randomly. Don't be afraid to ask him to do things that make you feel good; pleasure is the reason you're having sex in the first place. Once he knows how you like to be touched then he can practice doing it and hopefully make your sex life more enjoyable.

    Make sure you're doing enough foreplay too. I'm guessing you're somewhat young since you just lost your virginity, so it's likely that your boyfriend is fairly inexperienced as well. Young guys seem to ignore foreplay even though it's one of the best ways to make sex more pleasurable for a woman. If he's not kissing you, caressing you, and getting you so hot that you're begging to have sex before you start then he's doing something wrong. Again just be open with him and tell him what you want, or try out things you think would work to see if you enjoy them.

    Honesty, adventurousness, and mutual respect are key to a fulfilling sex life. Start practicing those now by talking to your boyfriend about what you want and don't ever let yourself be pressured into having sex that doesn't feel good. A worthwhile partner will be more than happy to change what they're doing to make things mutually pleasurable.

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  • DADNSCAL
    10 years ago | pl

    I'd tend to think he's not exciting you enough to produce lubricant, but then again if it happens with all guys, maybe you have a mental block against sex. Are you confident about your birth control method? Because if not, fear of pregnancy could be your inhibition.

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    • iamacheeseburger
      10 years ago | pl

      No, it's not that really. But then again it might be that he's not exciting me because he's the only guy I've had sex with. I was just going off kissing, ect. with other guys. Thanks for the response though!

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      • DADNSCAL
        10 years ago | pl

        Sorry, I'd understood that you had. You shouldn't feel obligated to have sex that's not pleasurable for you. If it does't improve, you need to find a new boyfriend. Hope it works out.

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  • ccjigsaw
    10 years ago | pl

    Sounds like a lack of foreplay. You say he's good in bed, but a guy is bad in bed if he's not making sure you're both ready to go. I'd be less responsive to. I've been through the lack of foreplay route. Feels just like you said. Plus if you let it go on to long, your brain eventually tells you that sex sucks, then you eventually don't want to do it anymore. I'd work on this now and tell him you'd like him to work with you on getting more interested in sex. Maybe a little oral before hand? Or you could ask him if he's comfortable with you touching yourself during to get your mind back into the proper mentality.

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