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I don't think that anyone deserves to date me? I've always WANTED a boyfriend so bad and I admire relationships but the thought of someone actually liking me enough to want to waste time with me and admire me, I can't comprehend. I just think it's impossible. And I don't think I'm that bad looking. I've never kissed anyone or anything because I can't see myself doing but yet I still want to and grrr.
you simply suffer from low self esteem i know i have this curse as well because even though i know intellectually/contiously that i'm awesome i can't help but feeling that deep seated humility and sence of being worthless that has been instilled in me by the world because i don't conform to some physical &/or mental ideal of normality that everyone is supposed to want.
From what ive seen its this sense of humility and concern which drives people with this mindset to really put a serious effort into any relationship they get into. so the answer to your question is no and simply because what you have is not relationship material, its "marriage" material and if you meet the right guy your gonna have a real shot at something serious.
I think lots of people feel that way to some extent. Some are just better at hiding it. I thought being someones friend would cause them harm or bad luck, or that people just put up with me to be nice. but most people aren't that nice. just do the things you like to do and be proud. there's probably somebody that wants you right now actually, you just don't realize it. But seriously, if you don't get on top of that low self-esteem you will ruin good relationships and gravitate towards abusive ones. and probably end up with unhealthy attitudes concerning sex.