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My previous wife was stolen from me by an older man who fixed our cars for free - we were in our early 20s and I had no idea what he was up to. So, my current wife is not allowed to be with other men alone. It sounds insecure, but that is my policy and she's okay with it.
I would prefer not to be with someone who thinks he can tell me who I can and cannot be platonic friends with. My ex was kinda like you in that he had been cheated on by the vast majority of his exes, and didn't want me having any straight male friends. He was verbally and emotionally abusive, and if anything I ended up understanding why his exes turned out to be cheaters. However, I didn't cheat, because Rosie don't play that shit!
Yes, it's a terrible thing to cheat, and I think cheaters are human garbage, but it's not an excuse to be a control freak. Yes, it's sad that your ex cheated on you, but it's shitty to punish your current partner for the sins of your ex. I certainly never agreed to not have any male friends for the sake of my ex, nor will I in the future for anyone, because I am not responsible for the actions of other people, and when I say other people I mean the exes of a perspective significant other.
I'd rather be alone than be with an insecure and controlling person.
Thanks.🙄
He called me yesterday, I didn't answer though, because I was busy on the other side of this little apartment at the Air Force Inn. Basically he ended up trying to call me, and then my folks and finally texting my dad to tell him that the management of our old apartment called him to tell him that a package had arrived for me there. I was already aware of the situation, but it made me sad inside. I think what I so want is to get a message of remorse, and apology, but that may never come. Still, despite the mundane nature of the message I find myself thinking that he's still a decent person, and I am probably still a decent person as well, but perhaps the trust on both sides is completely shattered beyond repair. For obvious reasons I can't and shouldn't ever be with someone as controlling and demanding as he was.
It was a bit of a grim day, at least at it's start yesterday. Despite the glory of a first blanket of snow yesterday the phone call and subsequent text message had me feeling introspective and emotional. Then to top it off I had to go furniture shopping with my folks which was quite mundane itself. I think there was something about riding in the back seat of their little car while listening to them bicker about one thing or another as I am silently pondering my emotional baggage in my head and looking out the window watching gray skies turn snow into sleet. To top things off the radio is on oldies music the whole time. I felt like the scene could have been something from 30 years ago in my youth, except for the snow. It made me feel small and alone inside. I pondered briefly on the possibility of making a video diary entry for myself, and wept just a little to myself. Neither of my folks noticed my tears, instead they just tried to draft me into assisting in their shopping endeavors and wanted to know if I was paying attention to them. Ugh
((Cyber hugs)) always here to listen. Its a long ass process but I see u healing Rose.
Thanks again.
It's been so weird since the hurricane. Although I think it's probably the best this way, because I don't think he would have been up to changing himself by working on his issues, narcissists rarely want to improve themselves, because of their pride and delicate egos.
It was nice to get to know some of my relatives in Texas better. Now I'm with my folks in Delaware and I can't really understand what it is that they like do much about this place, but hey, at least it snows here.
I know I need to start working on myself again, but it's a little hard to do while we still haven't moved into the new house yet.
I very much appreciate your kind sentiments.
:-)
Controlling behavior is actually a sign that you are an insecure pussy. People are only insecure when they know they aren't good enough.
asshole. That is abusive and disturbing. MAN UP. You should be ashamed and embarassed, your poor wife.
This is very controlling behavior that borders on abuse. It shows that you don't trust her and feel very insecure in your relationship.
Don't punish a good woman over dumb shit an ex did.
Basically, choose to marry a dumb bitch in the past, and got burned because of it. It happens. We all go through it, and learn what to avoid. However, when you find a good person, NEVER, fucking EVER punish them for what an ex did; that's basically saying they're no different to your ex and that you think she's a cheating slut if even the chance. That's fucked up logic and I hope you change that.
Your a control freak. She'll tire of this bullshit and dump you in the end. As well she should.
"Stole your wife" like your wife is some object that can be taken from someone else without her will
You're a punk! She could NOT be "okay" with it as you say, you've just bullied her into submission! I hope she wises up and leaves your sorry ass, and then fucks every cock she can find?
If she's completely fine with it as you said, I don't think there's a problem. Nevertheless, you are being paranoid. If your first wife left you, it's because she wanted to. She wasn't stolen or kidnapped.
I find this normal I have a similar policy and so did my father. But it goes both ways, Girls I date shouldn't spend time alone with guys and if Im dating I shouldn't spend time alone with another girl.
I personally don't see this as a bad thing however this is only when both parties agree, it does not work when one tries to force the other.
Get some help...you owe it to her and yourself. Or she will end up leaving you.
sorry for what happened with your last ex but being paranoid and controlling isn't cool.. you should probably see a therapist for your issues.
Shes not her. But if shes okay then i wish you both the best. If there is no trust, there is no real relationship.
Often wives that have to tolerate over-controlling shit like you dish out will hire lesbian prostitutes to relieve the tension. I would advise you not to interfere. Her partner may become dangerous.