I did not ask to exist

I've lived an exceptionally normal life. I've had the normal amount of friends, participated in some extracurricular activities, and have maintained good grades. I experienced some bullying, had arguments with parents like anyone else, and have been in bad relationships. But ever since I can remember, none of it has mattered to me. To others, I've been told I am perceived as a very emotionally intense person but it's always been a sort of alter ego. From the moment I wake up in the morning, I'm acting. I act like my friends matter. I act like I'm sorry when I upset my parents. But when I'm alone, I'm myself again: uncaring, despondent, monotone. Internally, everything has always felt like a chore. The way I've dealt with this all my life was through art, painting, drawing, etc. It was therapeutic. But lately, it's all become too much. I've become lazy, perhaps. I don't want to bother with family affairs, or bother to keep up with childhood friends. I'm quite tired of life, as it holds no real meaning to me. And I'm quite angry as well. I never asked to be subjected to living, breathing, and existing, did I? That was my parents' decisions. And while they may be disappointed in how I may turn out later in life, I hope they will get over it. I am not their only child after all. But anyways back to my point. Since I have been detached with reality all my life, I've decided to end it. And at quite a good time too, before adult responsibilities like student debts and taxes weigh me down even further. I've planned to overdose on Benadryl tablets before the year ends. It's not as if I hate my life or want the people in my life suffer, it's just after experiencing life for 18 years, I've become quite fed up. I'm almost suffocating in this world. These social expectations, and economy and god knows what other chaos. I only posted this because I was curious if anyone else has ever felt like this. This shall be my last post, hopefully, if my plan succeeds. Please, I'd love to hear your feedback.