I despise my Mother's existence.

I am with kelili on that one. You are disrespectful and dumb. The fact of a matter is that you are 20 and are still not being kicked out of the house. Move out, live on your own then see how much you hate your mom. And why would you even say such horrible things? What is wrong with you?! Disliking someone or not agreeing with them is one thing but wishing their death?! You are messed up.